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The Best True Blood Quotes

Updated May 19, 2020 1.2k votes 260 voters 58.9k views17 items

HBO's hit television series True Blood has been filled with funny and memorable lines from the very first episode when viewers were first introduced to the characters of Sookie, Bill, Jason, Arlene, Lafayette, Tara and Sam, to name a few. Each of the characters in the show bring something special to the table, as you will see below. These are some of the best quotes from True Blood. And if you're looking for another quotable series, make sure to check out these other shows like True Blood.

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  • 1

    Hamburger with AIDS

    Video: YouTube

    Lafayette: "'Scuse me. Who ordered the hamburger....with AIDS?
    Redneck: "I ordered the hamburger deluxe."
    Lafayette: "In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe comes with french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and AIDS! Do anyone got a problem wit dat?
    Redneck: "Yeah, I'm an American,and I got a say in who makes my food.
    Lafayette: "Aw baby, it's too late for that. F*ggots been breeding your cows, raisin' your chickens, even brewin' your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother f**ker. Everything on your God damn table got AIDS.
    Redneck: "Well, you still ain't making me eat no AIDS burger."
    Lafayette: "Well all you gots to do is say hold the aids here. Here, eat it! bitch, you come into my house ,you gonna eat the food the way I f**kin' make it! Do you understand me? Tip your waitress."

    This scene between Lafayette and several customers at Merlotte's was full of tension. One can definitely understand why Lafayette got upset.
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  • 2

    Teacup Humans

    Video: YouTube

    Pam to Arlene's kids: "You make me so happy I never had any of you."
    Eric: "Now come on, Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature -- teacup humans."

    The way Eric delivers his "teacup human" line is priceless.
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  • 3

    Eric's Maker

    Sookie: "He's your maker, isn't he?"
    Eric: "Don't use words you don't understand."
    Sookie: "You have a lot of love for him."
    Eric: "Don't use words I don't understand."

    Poor Eric!
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  • 4

    Lafayette's a Survivor

    Pam: "I thought prostitutes were good at keeping secrets."
    Lafayette: "Don't get it twisted hunny. I'm a survivor first, a capitalist second, and a whooole bunch-a otha' s**t after that, but a hooka' dead last, so if I got even a Jew at an Al Qaeda pep rally shot at gettin' my black-ass outta this mutha' f**ka', I'm takin' it; Now whatch' you wanna know?"

    How can you not love Pam? Her character in the television series is far better than the one in the books.
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