The Best True Blood Quotes

Eric: Is there blood in my hair?

Lafayette: I... I don't know. I can't see in this light.

Eric: How about now?

Lafayette: Y... yeah t... there's a little bit of blood in there, yeah.

Eric: This is bad. Pam is going to kill me.

Lafayette: 'Scuse me. Who ordered the hamburger....with AIDS?

Redneck: I ordered the hamburger deluxe.

Lafayette: In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe comes with french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and AIDS! Do anyone got a problem wit dat?

Redneck: Yeah, I'm an American and I got a say in who makes my food.

Lafayette: Aw baby, it's too late for that. F*ggots been breeding your cows, raisin' your chickens, even brewin' your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother f**ker. Everything on your God damn table got AIDS.

Redneck: Well, you still ain't making me eat no AIDS burger.

Lafayette: Well all you gots to do is say hold the aids here. Here, eat it! bitch, you come into my house ,you gonna eat the food the way I f**kin' make it! Do you understand me? Tip your waitress.

Pam to Arlene's kids: You make me so happy I never had any of you.

Eric: Now come on, Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature -- teacup humans.

Lafayette: You look like a porn star with that tan and pink lipstick. You gotta date?

Sookie: No. When I wear makeup, I get bigger tips.

Lafayette: Yes, girl. Let's here it! These damn redneck are suckers for packaging.

Sookie: And I get even bigger tips when I act like I don't have a brain in my head. But if I don't, they're all scared of me.

Lafayette: They ain't scared of you, honey child. They scared of what's between your legs.

Pam: There's vampire in your cleavage.

Sookie: Oh, okay, eww!

Pam: Allow me. Here, let me get that for you.

Eric: Here's the truth. There are forces beyond even my control. If I meet the true death without ever having kissed you, Sookie Stackhouse, that would be my biggest regret.

Sookie: Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye to me?

Eric: Because I am.