Pam to Arlene's kids: "You make me so happy I never had any of you."
Eric: "Now come on, Pam, they're funny. They're like humans, but miniature -- teacup humans."
Sookie: "He's your maker, isn't he?"
Eric: "Don't use words you don't understand."
Sookie: "You have a lot of love for him."
Eric: "Don't use words I don't understand."
Hamburger with AIDS
Lafayette: "'Scuse me. Who ordered the hamburger....with AIDS?
Redneck: "I ordered the hamburger deluxe."
Lafayette: "In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe comes with french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and AIDS! Do anyone got a problem wit dat?
Redneck: "Yeah, I'm an American,and I got a say in who makes my food.
Lafayette: "Aw baby, it's too late for that. F*ggots been breeding your cows, raisin' your chickens, even brewin' your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother f**ker. Everything on your God damn table got AIDS.
Redneck: "Well, you still ain't making me eat no AIDS burger."
Lafayette: "Well all you gots to do is say hold the aids here. Here, eat it! bitch, you come into my house ,you gonna eat the food the way I f**kin' make it! Do you understand me? Tip your waitress."
Eric: "Is there blood in my hair?"
Lafayette: "I... I don't know. I can't see in this light."
Eric: "How about now?"
Lafayette: "Y... yeah t... there's a little bit of blood in there, yeah."
Eric: "This is bad. Pam is going to kill me."