'The Campaign' Movie Quotes

"The Campaign" movie quotes, with video clips, make all of the political jokes that would make the boring and often ugly political campaigns hilarious and actually tolerable. What are some famous quotes from "The Campaign"? Starring Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis, "The Campaign" pits an incumbent, Cam Brady (Ferrell), against a political newcomer, Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) who doesn't have a clue. As they campaign against one another for a spot in Congress to represent North Carolina, comedy surely wins.

In "The Campaign," Cam Brady is about to win his fifth term in Congress and is guaranteed that win as he is running unopposed... or so he thought. Enter Marty Huggins, a giggly and naive director of the local tourism center. When Marty enters the race against Cam, months of campaigning, debates, speeches and a little baby-punching follows. Can the newcomer oust the long-term congressman or will Cam Brady survive his first real campaign? That's the question posted, and hopefully answered, in "The Campaign" just in time for the 2012 presidential election.

What are the best quotes from "The Campaign"? The comedy duo of Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis is supported by a stacked cast including fellow "SNL" favorite Jason Sudeikis, Dylan McDermott and Brian Cox, plus special appearances from John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd and Piers Morgan, among others.

"The Campaign" joins the summer 2012 season which is packed full of other hilarious comedies such as "Ted," "Celeste and Jesse Forever" and "Madea's Witness Protection." For something a bit more serious there's also "Magic Mike,", "The Amazing Spider-Man" and "The Dark Knight Rises."

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    141 VOTES

    Family Secrets

    Family Secrets
    Video: YouTube

    Marty Huggins: "Now that I'm running for Congress, we're going to be under a lot of scrutiny. Anybody have anything that they want to share with us? I promise you I'm not going to get angry."
    Dylan Huggins: "I said the lord's name in vain at school."
    Marty Huggins: "I said I wasn't going to get angry and I'm not angry."
    Clay Huggins: "I went to the petting zoo and I let the goat lick my p***s."
    Dylan Huggins: "One time I put a firefly in my butthole."
    Marty Huggins: "Why?"
    Dylan Huggins: "To make my farts glow"
    Clay Huggins: "I shaved the dog and glued the hair to my n**sack so I looked like a grown man."
    Dylan Huggins: "The old biker man at the end of the street let me tough his wife's t***y."
    Marty Huggins: "That's a good one, but I..."
    Clay Huggins: "I'm legally married to the babysitter."
    Dylan Huggins: "I accidentally got a man killed on the Internet."
    Clay Huggins: "Once a week I pray to the devil."
    Mitzi Huggins: "Almost every day I touch myself to Drew Carey on 'The Price is Right.'"

    Cam Brady: "Cam, anything you want to talk to your dad about? You want to get a tattoo or a nose ring or anything like that?"
    Cam Jr.: "Dad, just be quiet."
    Cam Brady: "Because we can talk about those things."
    Cam Brady: "It occurred to me, and I been meaning to ask you this for the longest time, do you have p***c hair yet? It dawned on me that I have no idea."
    Cam Jr.: " "Dad!"
    Cam Brady: "Believe me on our side of the family, we grow it. Thick... and bushy"
    Cam Brady: "You ever want to talk about make-out techniques, I can show you how to turn your tongue into a magic wand."
    Cam Jr.: "Stop!"
    Cam Brady: "With females, not with dudes"
    Cam Jr.: "Please, dad! Dad!"
    Cam Brady: "If you're into dudes, that's fine too."
    Cam Brady: "Camo, what are you studying in school right now, dinosaurs? I'm asking cause I don't know. What grade are you in now? Have you been using those hair products I gave you? Just trying to reach out to you more. Do you want to talk about testicles? I have one ball that hangs lower than the other one. If you want to make a funny father-son video, put it on YouTube, we can do that too."
    Cam Jr.: "Nope"
    Cam Brady: "That's OK, I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at you."

    In this clip of the two candidate families sitting around the dinner table preparing for secrets that might come out during the campaign, we learn some intimate details about the candidates' loved ones. By intimate I mean too much information, more than we'd ever want to know, ever.

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    23 VOTES

    Black Hawk Down

    Black Hawk Down
    Video: YouTube

    Cam Brady: "Marty Huggins, what do you got there? Is that a crossbow?"
    (Marty shoots Cam in the leg with the crossbow)
    Cam Brady: "Ow! Black hawk down!"

    As much as most candidates secretly would like an easy way to magically eliminate their competitors from the race, rarely if ever do we see candidates take action like Marty Huggins. Yes, he was carrying a crossbow and yes, he did just shoot you in the leg with it.

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    49 VOTES

    Like a Vacuum Cleaner

    Like a Vacuum Cleaner
    Photo: flickr / CC0

    Cam Brady: "How you doing?"
    Marty Huggins: "Hate to break it to you friend but your balloon's getting ready to pop. That balloon's full of your own butt toots."
    Cam Brady: "You trying to trash talk me? Your mama's like a vacuum cleaner. She sucks, she blows and gets laid in a closet... That's what nuts feel like."

    Meeting on stage for a debate, the two candidates engage in an awkward impromptu trash talking session. It's all fun and games until Cam Brady pulls Marty Huggins' hand toward his crotch, then things just get weird.

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    30 VOTES

    Snake Worship

    Snake Worship
    Video: YouTube

    Cam Brady: "I feel like Britney Spears at the VMAs! Let me hear a Cam Brady oh-12!"
    (large snake latches onto Cam's arm)
    Cam Brady: "Oh, shove a throwing star up a Chinese monkey!"

    A visit to a snake-worshiping local church goes horribly wrong for Cam Brady when one of the reptiles takes a big bite out of his arm. Things only get worse when in response to the bite, Cam expresses the pain in a way that shocks some churchgoers.