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The Change-Up Movie Quotes 

Movie and TV Quotes
Updated August 16, 2019 243 votes 140 voters 108.3k views 13 items

If you could change places with your friend, would you? That's exactly what happens in the 2011 comedy movie 'The Change-Up,' starring Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bateman, Olivia Wilde and Leslie Mann. The best quotes from 'The Change-Up' include some truly hilarious quips from self-proclaimed playboy Mitch Planko (Reynolds) and his buddy, Dave Lockwood (Bateman). Little do they know that making a wish while urinating in a fountain will change their lives... literally. If you see a favorite quote on this list, be sure to vote it up! 

'The Change-Up' is just one of several R-rated comedy movies released over the summer of 2011. Unlike some of the bigger hits, like 'Bridesmaids' and 'The Hangover Part II,' 'The Change-Up' didn't fare very well at the box office, and only grossed about $39 million in U.S. theaters, as of mid-September 2011. Dismal reviews for 'The Change-Up' probably didn't help, but that doesn't mean it's not an enjoyable movie!

After you're done voting up your favorite funny lines from 'The Change Up,' be sure to check out the best quotes from other summer comedies, like 'Our Idiot Brother,' 'Horrible Bosses,' 'Friends With Benefits,' 'Bridesmaids,' 'Hangover Part 2,' and 'Bad Teacher'.

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1
Thai Food
Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Jamie: "I need to cool it on the Thai food."

Dave (really Mitch) is all excited, thinking he's about to have sex with Dave's wife, Jamie. Unfortunately for him, he discovers that this married couple pretty much shares everything - including leaving the door open during (pretty gross) bathroom visits. Definitely kills the mood, huh Mitch?
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2
Guns Hot

Dave (really Mitch): "No no no no no no. Don't back that thing up into me. I can't believe you'd come at me, guns hot!"

Ew. Having just witnessed Dave's wife Jamie's pretty graphic bathroom visit, he's pretty grossed out as she gets in the bed, snuggling up to him.
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3
Like a Hurricane

Dave (really Mitch): "What do I tell Jamie, when she wants to have sex tonight?"
Mitch (really Dave): "You're not having sex with my wife, Mitch!"
Dave (really Mitch): "If she comes at me like a hurricane, a guy can only stand so much..."

Little does fake Dave know, but he's in for an...interesting evening. Some married couples share everything...
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4
Briefs By Lunch

Sabrina: "I'll have my briefs on your desk by lunch."
Dave: "That puts my balls on your chin by dinner."
Mitch: "That is schedule 4 sexual harassment!"

Try to follow this: Dave is really Mitch now and Mitch is really Dave. The ridiculously hot Sabrina (Olivia Wilde) works for Dave. Dave (really Mitch) suggests that she and Mitch (really Dave) go out, seeing as they're both single - and opening a whole new door for the real Dave to explore. Talk about temptation: During the date, Sabrina confesses to Mitch (really Dave, stay with us here) that she used to have a huge crush on Dave. Yeah, temptation. Big time.
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