The Parks Department of PawneeLists about Parks and Recreation, NBC's hit comedy series about perky mid-level bureaucrat Leslie Knope and her zany, lovable co-workers, which ran from 2009 to 2015.
Updated May 1, 2020 3.8K votes 637 voters 146.0K views
Ron Swanson, the bacon-loving, pyramid-touting boss on NBC's hilarious sitcom Parks and Recreation, has GOT to be one of the funniest and most quotable characters ever on television. Looking for the funniest Ron Swanson quotes? You've come to the right place. Nick Offerman's portrayal of Ron Swanson brings big laughs for fans of the show. And if you aren't a fan - become one. Now.
What are some of the funniest Ron Swanson quotes? This list will give you some insight to TV's favorite libertarian. His quotes about the outdoors, government and of course, his love for all things red meat have made Parks & Rec fans chuckle for years.
Without furtherr ado, we present some nuggets of wisdom from Ron Swanson, via his often disturbing and hysterically funny quotes.
"How many Drinks of Alcohol do you consume a week?" "One" "That's it one drink? "One Shelf." "Do you exercise?" "Yes, Lovemaking and Woodworking." "Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?" "I have an uncle who does yoga." "Allergies?" "Cowardice and Weak Willed Men... and Hazelnuts" "Sexual History?" "Epic. and Private."
Ron: "Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.' What I said was, 'Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.' Do you understand?"
Bacon is one of the four major food groups. That's about the only thing we agree with Ron on. Okay maybe the fish meat-as-vegetable idea....
Ron: "The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."
Ron Swanson: He cares about his co-workers. As long as they don't beat him in Scrabble...
"Ann was getting a little chummy. When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name, to let them know I don't really care about them."
How Ron keeps his work associates at a distance. Constant vigilance.
"How many Drinks of Alcohol do you consume a week?"
