The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes  

Movie and TV Quotes
2.5k votes 414 voters 137.4k views 26 items

Ron Swanson, the bacon-loving, pyramid-touting boss on NBC's hilarious sitcom Parks and Recreation, has GOT to be one of the funniest and most quotable characters ever on television. Looking for the funniest Ron Swanson quotes? You've come to the right place. Nick Offerman's portrayal of the (let's face it) totally moronic Ron Swanson brings big laughs for fans of the show. And if you aren't a fan - become one. Now.

What are some of the funniest Ron Swanson quotes? This list will give you some insight to TV's favorite Libertarian. His quotes about the outdoors, government and of course, his love for all things red meat have made Parks & Rec fans chuckle for years. 

Without furtherr ado, we present some nuggets of wisdom from Ron Swanson, via his often disturbing and hysterically funny quotes!

For more fans of small government, here's Ranker user Mr Porcupine's List of Libertarian Celebrities.
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Getting a Little Chummy
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Video: YouTube

"Ann was getting a little chummy. When people get too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name, to let them know I don't really care about them." 

How Ron keeps his work associates at a distance. Constant vigilance.
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Teach a Man to Fish
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Video: YouTube

Ron: "I am only here because I owe Leslie a thousand favors. I'm not big on charities. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard."

Such a generous man, our Ron Swanson. A true American hero!
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On Knowing Co-Workers
On Knowing Co-Workers is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes
Photo: via Reddit

Ron: "The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."

Ron Swanson: He cares about his co-workers. As long as they don't beat him in Scrabble...
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On Priorities
On Priorities is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Ron Swanson Quotes
Photo: via Wikimedia

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."

Ron's advice to Leslie when she's spreading herself too thin between different jobs is the sort of simple maxim that you can life your life by. It simplifies complicated situations in perfect Swanson fashion.
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