comedy The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes  

Desertrat89
3.6k votes 457 voters 44.4k views 50 items Embed

Seinfeld is arguably one of the funniest sitcoms ever, and inarguably one of the best quote-able comedies of all time. I put together a small sampling of some of the best quotes on the show, and yes, it is missing a LOT... because, come on. I have a job. (But I did manage to put in the ones I love the most that I could remember.) So, please, add your favorite quotes to the list and vote on the ones that are the best, most iconic, greatest quotes of the show's history. It's hard, I know, because so much of the funniest stuff is full bits... but if you want, go ahead and add those. Your discretion. Just the funniest, most hilariously funny stuff from Seinfeld is the only rule!

Check out more lists like all of the greatest TV shows ever made, the most hilarious TV shows and the best British TV shows
list ordered by

1
138 35
Jerry, just remember, it's not... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

2
142 37
Looking at cleavage is like lo... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

3
152 42
The sea was angry that day my ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

4
117 30
When you look annoyed all the ... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

5
99 25
No Soup for You is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
udontneedtoknowmyname added No Soup for You

6
92 26
You know the message you're se... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

7
85 23
Boy, these pretzels are makin'... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

8
88 26
I have a bad feeling that when... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

9
80 25
You're killing independent Geo... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

10
60 13
Hello, Newman. is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Hello, Newman. Jerry

11
86 29
I need the secure packaging of... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

12
80 27
You know I always wanted to pr... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

13
73 23
Ranker Video
birdiejay23 added I'm Out "Kramer"

14
58 15
SERENITY NOW! is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
taichungcanuck added SERENITY NOW! Frank Costanza

Celebrities Whose Children Committed Suicide

15
52 12
We're Not Gay. Not That There'... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

16
61 21
I'm much more comfortable crit... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

17
56 21
Elaine, breaking up is like kn... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

18
49 17
They're Real.....and They're S... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
falsedawn added They're Real.....and They're Spectacular! "Teri Hatcher"  

19
72 34
Yada yada yada is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

20
19 2
when you control the mail you ... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

21
41 14
He's a re-gifter. is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added He's a re-gifter. Elaine

The Funniest Female TV Characters

22
42 15
She has man hands. is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added She has man hands. Jerry

23
32 8
Worlds are colliding. is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Worlds are colliding. George

24
54 25
Did you know that the original... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

25
51 23
You should've seen her face. I... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

26
44 19
Why should I hire you to be my... is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

27
44 20
Every instinct I have, in ever... is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

28
46 22
I can't go to a bad movie by m... is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

The Funniest Anti-Jokes

29
43 21
I hate asking for change. They... is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

30
52 29
Dolores! is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
jr4150 added Dolores! "Jerry"

31
21 4
Ranker Video

32
45 24
People don't just bump into ea... is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

33
28 10
He's a close talker. is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added He's a close talker. Elaine

34
46 25
You, my friend, have crossed t... is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

35
35 19
I want to be the one person wh... is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

Musicians Who Belong in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

36
33 19
That's the true spirit of Chri... is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

37
34 20
Nobody drives like me. Nobody.... is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

38
37 23
Do you ever get down on your k... is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

39
19 7
He took it out. is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
woogyjones50 added He took it out.

40
30 17
Parking at a garage is like go... is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

41
13 7
Sweet fancy Moses is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
jdathenscsr added Sweet fancy Moses

42
26 20
Sex, that’s meaningless, I can... is listed (or ranked) 42 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

43
28 23
Women don't respect salad eate... is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

44
8 3
Is not you, It´s me. Geo... is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

45
27 22
Ranker Video

46
29 28
Look to the cookie, Elaine! is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

47
21 23
The carpet sweeper is the bigg... is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

48
22 26
My friend Jay Reimenschneider ... is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

49
18 24
You are way past the phone cal... is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

50
3 8
Ranker Video
slaft added My wallets gone Morty