comedy The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes  

Desertrat89
3.3k votes 411 voters 42.6k views 50 items Embed

Seinfeld is arguably one of the funniest sitcoms ever, and inarguably one of the best quote-able comedies of all time. I put together a small sampling of some of the best quotes on the show, and yes, it is missing a LOT... because, come on. I have a job. (But I did manage to put in the ones I love the most that I could remember.) So, please, add your favorite quotes to the list and vote on the ones that are the best, most iconic, greatest quotes of the show's history. It's hard, I know, because so much of the funniest stuff is full bits... but if you want, go ahead and add those. Your discretion. Just the funniest, most hilariously funny stuff from Seinfeld is the only rule!

Check out more lists like all of the greatest TV shows ever made, the most hilarious TV shows and the best British TV shows
list ordered by

1
137 36
The sea was angry that day my ... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

The Funniest TV Shows of All Time The Worst TV Series Finales Ever

2
130 33
Looking at cleavage is like lo... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

3
124 31
Jerry, just remember, it's not... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

4
105 29
When you look annoyed all the ... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

5
89 21
No Soup for You is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
udontneedtoknowmyname added No Soup for You

6
82 22
I have a bad feeling that when... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

7
85 24
You know the message you're se... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

8
78 21
Boy, these pretzels are makin'... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

9
83 26
I need the secure packaging of... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

10
53 12
Hello, Newman. is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Hello, Newman. Jerry

11
67 21
Ranker Video
birdiejay23 added I'm Out "Kramer"

12
71 25
You're killing independent Geo... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

13
54 14
SERENITY NOW! is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
taichungcanuck added SERENITY NOW! Frank Costanza

14
72 26
You know I always wanted to pr... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

15
46 12
We're Not Gay. Not That There'... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

The Longest Running US Sitcoms The Best Re-Casting of Famous TV Roles

16
57 20
I'm much more comfortable crit... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

17
47 15
They're Real.....and They're S... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
falsedawn added They're Real.....and They're Spectacular! "Teri Hatcher"  

18
53 20
Elaine, breaking up is like kn... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

19
66 33
Yada yada yada is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

20
48 21
You should've seen her face. I... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

21
51 25
Did you know that the original... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

22
37 14
He's a re-gifter. is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added He's a re-gifter. Elaine

23
41 18
I hate asking for change. They... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

24
41 19
Every instinct I have, in ever... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

25
36 15
She has man hands. is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added She has man hands. Jerry

26
49 26
Dolores! is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
jr4150 added Dolores! "Jerry"

27
39 18
Why should I hire you to be my... is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

28
42 21
I can't go to a bad movie by m... is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

29
26 8
Worlds are colliding. is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Worlds are colliding. George

The Funniest Jewish TV Characters Awesome Superpowers We'd Give Anything to Have

30
43 22
People don't just bump into ea... is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

31
25 8
He's a close talker. is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added He's a close talker. Elaine

32
16 2
when you control the mail you ... is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

33
43 24
You, my friend, have crossed t... is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

34
32 19
I want to be the one person wh... is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

35
34 21
Do you ever get down on your k... is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

36
30 18
That's the true spirit of Chri... is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

37
14 4
Ranker Video

38
15 5
He took it out. is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
woogyjones50 added He took it out.

39
26 16
Parking at a garage is like go... is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

40
29 19
Nobody drives like me. Nobody.... is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

41
25 17
Sex, that’s meaningless, I can... is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

42
10 5
Sweet fancy Moses is listed (or ranked) 42 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
jdathenscsr added Sweet fancy Moses

43
25 21
Women don't respect salad eate... is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

44
24 20
Ranker Video

45
28 25
Look to the cookie, Elaine! is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

46
5 2
Is not you, It´s me. Geo... is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

47
22 22
My friend Jay Reimenschneider ... is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

48
20 21
The carpet sweeper is the bigg... is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

49
18 21
You are way past the phone cal... is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

50
3 6
Ranker Video
slaft added My wallets gone Morty