Comedy The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes  

Desertrat89
4.6k votes 625 voters 50.1k views 53 items
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Seinfeld is arguably one of the funniest sitcoms ever, and inarguably one of the best quote-able comedies of all time. I put together a small sampling of some of the best quotes on the show, and yes, it is missing a LOT... because, come on. I have a job. (But I did manage to put in the ones I love the most that I could remember.) So, please, add your favorite quotes to the list and vote on the ones that are the best, most iconic, greatest quotes of the show's history. It's hard, I know, because so much of the funniest stuff is full bits... but if you want, go ahead and add those. Your discretion. Just the funniest, most hilariously funny stuff from Seinfeld is the only rule!

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list ordered by

1
174 46
Jerry, just remember, it's not... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

2
179 49
Looking at cleavage is like lo... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

3
189 56
The sea was angry that day my ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

4
146 39
When you look annoyed all the ... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

5
124 32
Boy, these pretzels are makin'... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

6
134 37
No Soup for You is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
udontneedtoknowmyname added

7
89 17
Hello, Newman. is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Jerry

8
88 18
SERENITY NOW! is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
taichungcanuck added Frank Costanza

9
115 33
You know the message you're se... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

10
111 32
I have a bad feeling that when... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

11
75 16
We're Not Gay. Not That There'... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

12
99 32
I need the secure packaging of... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

13
41 5
Ranker Video

14
96 32
You're killing independent Geo... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

15
89 28
Ranker Video
birdiejay23 added "Kramer"

16
93 34
You know I always wanted to pr... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

17
66 19
They're Real.....and They're S... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
falsedawn added "Teri Hatcher"
 

18
95 38
Yada yada yada is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

19
77 28
I'm much more comfortable crit... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

20
55 18
He's a re-gifter. is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Elaine

21
56 20
She has man hands. is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Jerry

22
67 31
Elaine, breaking up is like kn... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

23
56 23
Why should I hire you to be my... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

24
59 26
I can't go to a bad movie by m... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

25
63 30
You should've seen her face. I... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes