comedy The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes  

Desertrat89
3.0k votes 383 voters 41.6k views 50 items Embed

Seinfeld is arguably one of the funniest sitcoms ever, and inarguably one of the best quote-able comedies of all time. I put together a small sampling of some of the best quotes on the show, and yes, it is missing a LOT... because, come on. I have a job. (But I did manage to put in the ones I love the most that I could remember.) So, please, add your favorite quotes to the list and vote on the ones that are the best, most iconic, greatest quotes of the show's history. It's hard, I know, because so much of the funniest stuff is full bits... but if you want, go ahead and add those. Your discretion. Just the funniest, most hilariously funny stuff from Seinfeld is the only rule!

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list ordered by

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123 32
Looking at cleavage is like lo... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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126 34
The sea was angry that day my ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

3
114 30
Jerry, just remember, it's not... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

4
82 18
No Soup for You is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
udontneedtoknowmyname added No Soup for You

5
78 19
I have a bad feeling that when... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

6
94 29
When you look annoyed all the ... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

7
78 21
You know the message you're se... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

8
71 18
Boy, these pretzels are makin'... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

9
79 25
I need the secure packaging of... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

10
63 19
Ranker Video
birdiejay23 added I'm Out "Kramer"

11
50 11
SERENITY NOW! is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
taichungcanuck added SERENITY NOW! Frank Costanza

12
68 23
You know I always wanted to pr... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

13
48 10
Hello, Newman. is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Hello, Newman. Jerry

14
66 24
You're killing independent Geo... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

15
55 18
I'm much more comfortable crit... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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40 11
We're Not Gay. Not That There'... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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63 29
Yada yada yada is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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42 14
They're Real.....and They're S... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
falsedawn added They're Real.....and They're Spectacular! "Teri Hatcher"  

19
50 22
Did you know that the original... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

20
46 19
You should've seen her face. I... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

21
47 20
Elaine, breaking up is like kn... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

22
34 11
He's a re-gifter. is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added He's a re-gifter. Elaine

23
34 12
She has man hands. is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added She has man hands. Jerry

24
39 17
Every instinct I have, in ever... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

25
47 24
Dolores! is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
jr4150 added Dolores! "Jerry"

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38 18
I hate asking for change. They... is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

27
35 17
Why should I hire you to be my... is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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38 20
I can't go to a bad movie by m... is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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41 23
You, my friend, have crossed t... is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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22 7
Worlds are colliding. is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added Worlds are colliding. George

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39 22
People don't just bump into ea... is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

32
22 8
He's a close talker. is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
looksharp added He's a close talker. Elaine

33
31 17
I want to be the one person wh... is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

34
12 2
when you control the mail you ... is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

35
12 2
Ranker Video

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28 17
That's the true spirit of Chri... is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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31 21
Do you ever get down on your k... is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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13 5
He took it out. is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
woogyjones50 added He took it out.

39
26 18
Nobody drives like me. Nobody.... is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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23 16
Parking at a garage is like go... is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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23 17
Sex, that’s meaningless, I can... is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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23 19
Ranker Video

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9 5
Sweet fancy Moses is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes
jdathenscsr added Sweet fancy Moses

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27 24
Look to the cookie, Elaine! is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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23 20
Women don't respect salad eate... is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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3 2
Is not you, It´s me. Geo... is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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19 20
The carpet sweeper is the bigg... is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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19 22
My friend Jay Reimenschneider ... is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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16 21
You are way past the phone cal... is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Funniest Seinfeld Quotes

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Ranker Video
slaft added My wallets gone Morty