Roger Kressler (Ned Eisenberg)
One of those characters that is so off-putting, the mere sight of them alighting from one of the courthouse elevators can send you frantically searching for a piece of drywall to punch. Kressler is as slimy as they come, standing up for serial killers, pedophiles, teenage sadists and, virtually, any scumbag with money. One prime example of said sliminess occurs in S2 episode 'Closure.' Harper Anderson (Tracy Pollan) accuses Kessler's client of defending a serial rapist.
Anderson: 'I've seen you in court, Mr. Kessler. You're a very famous man. You're gonna burn in Hell.'
His retort: 'I'm Jewish, Ms. Anderson. There is no Hell.'
NUMBER OF EPISODES: 21
Lionel Granger (David Thornton)
Marrying Cyndi Lauper is the smartest thing David Thornton ever did. In second place: taking the role of consummate asshole Lionel Granger, one of the biggest turds in the New York judicial system. Slick, unethical and easily up for any legal challenge, Granger once accused St. Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) of murdering a sexual sadist that forced his female victims to marry him in a dungeon (turns out it was Jacqueline Bisset...or Samantha Mathis). He has even joined forces with fellow scumbag Roger Kressler (Ned Eisenberg), playing duplicitous defender to a pack of homicidal teenage girls who beat one of their friends to death and proceeded to stab her corpse hundreds of times with a pair of manicure scissors. His defense? Extreme emotional distress. Stay classy, Granger.
Rebecca Balthus (Beverly D'Angelo)
Oh man! I love Beverly D'Angelo. 'Coal Miner's Daughter?' Anybody who can hold their own as Patsy Cline alongside Sissy Spacek's Loretta Lynn is aces in my book. Then again, it's a testament to her fine acting abilities because Rebecca Balthus is such a delusional asshole. A seemingly novice attorney who is always seen toting stacks of heavy files to and from court (get a briefcase, dummy!), Balthus is usually first in line to proffer the most obscure and useless factoids, supported by irrelevant case laws, and to slap the insanity defense motions onto ADA Novak's desk. Granted, many of her clients are in dire need of mental assessments. But still.....
Matthew Braden (Steven Weber)
NUMBER OF EPISODES: 3