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'The Peanut Butter Solution' Is An '80s Kids' Movie That Gets Weirder And Darker Every Minute

March 26, 2020 3.3k views14 items

According to YouTube comments, many movie fans who grew up in the 1980s believe The Peanut Butter Solution was not a feature film but just a strange dream they experienced. Turns out, it was a real movie, filmed in Canada with a soundtrack featuring Celine Dion. If you're one of the many who've never heard of it, The Peanut Butter Solution came out in 1985, within about a year of other dark '80s kid movies like Labyrinth, The Neverending Story, and Return to Oz. Unlike these beloved cult classics, most people either don't remember The Peanut Butter Solution, are in denial it ever existed, or think of viewing it as a scarring experience.

Those who do remember The Peanut Butter Solution recall it mostly due to its extremely bizarre story. Events seem random and almost like a dream, or in this case, a nightmare. Although it's a kids' movie, it contains dark elements including kidnapping, forced labor, and gross substances consisting of dead flies and rotten eggs. It's even got a few ghosts thrown in for good measure. Created as part of a feel-good children's film series called Tales for All, the movie often feels so out there, viewers may wonder how it even made it to the screen. The Peanut Butter Solution may not be one of the most beloved kids' movies of the 1980s, but it definitely stands out from the rest.

  • It’s About A Boy Who Loses All His Hair After Entering A Haunted House

    The Peanut Butter Solution begins as preteen Suzie Baskin (Alison Podbrey) makes a breakfast smoothie for her 11-year-old brother Michael Baskin (Mathew Mackay) since their mother is out of the country. Michael's male friend Conrad, otherwise known as Connie (Siluck Saysanasy), stops by clad in a fedora and red high-top Converse and informs Michael about a fire that took place the night before at a nearby abandoned mansion. Suddenly, the film jumps to a random flashback of Michael giving some money to a homeless couple on the street.

    Back in the present, the two boys explore the ruins of the mansion despite Connie telling Michael, "People died there just a few hours ago." As Michael climbs up a construction trough and goes inside, he encounters something unseen that frightens him so badly, he screams and falls from the second floor. When he later regains consciousness, Michael can't remember what it was that scared him but discovers his hair has mysteriously disappeared and left him with a bald head.

  • Michael Is Diagnosed With 'Hairem Scarem' 

    After losing his hair, Michael becomes depressed and sobs by himself. His father (Michael Hogan), who has a never-mentioned large balding patch himself, tries to convince Michael his hair will grow back, but by the next morning, it becomes clear it won't. A doctor with an inexplicable heavy German accent diagnoses Michael with "hairem scarem." This "proper medical term" means Michael's hair became so scared by whatever frightened him that it ran away.

    The doctor assures Michael and his family that the hair will grow back eventually, and he urges them to limit Michael's stress and keep him happy. This ends up making Michael more depressed and bitter.

  • A Mob Of Soccer Players Chase Michael After Learning He's Bald

    Michael's family tries to cheer him up by buying him a wig, which they glue to his head. A bit of Michael's confidence returns and he returns to normal life, including playing soccer. He scores a number of goals before getting into a fight with a member of the opposing team. During the scuffle, the other boy rips off Michael's wig in slow motion, and the other children are horrified to learn he's bald. Strange music that sounds like a cross between a circus and The Phantom of the Opera plays as Michael pulls his shirt over his head and tries to run away.

    The soccer players chase him down the street chanting insults like, "Run home to mommy!" Kids can apparently be almost as scary as whatever it was that made Michael lose his hair.

  • The Ghosts Of Homeless People Give The Boy A Gross Cure For Baldness

    Michael hears strange noises coming from his kitchen one night and finds the two homeless people to whom he gave money eating the Baskins' food. They inform him that they perished in the mansion fire and are actually ghosts - because of course they are. With apparently nothing better to ask them, Michael asks the man, "Were you a kid once, like me?" The couple explain they've come to help Michael by giving him a recipe that will regrow his hair.

    Naturally, the recipe includes a number of strange, gross things like "one rotten egg," "five dead flies," and a "fistful of kitty litter." In order to help the concoction stick to his head, Michael must mix everything with peanut butter, hence the movie's title. Skippy reportedly thought the movie would be great for sales, and paid to have their brand featured in the film.