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Total Nerd The Ten Greatest Moments in Star Trek Slash Fiction  

Eric Diaz
68.6k views 10 items

Out of everything Star Trek has spawned in its 45 year span (six television series, ten films and an avalanche of merchandise), almost nothing has been more of a game changer than slash fiction. Star Trek introduced the world to Slash fiction, which is essentially fan fiction with a sexual (usually same sex) bent.

The original "slash fic" was K/S, all about the forbidden love of Kirk and Spock. Eventually slash fic expanded out of Trek (I even found a slash fic for short lived 90's TV series "Due South". Who knew anyone cared about that show, much less wanted to see the main characters have sex with each other??) But Star Trek is where it all began and it is with those characters that slash fiction continues to thrive.

So in honor of Trek creator Gene Roddenberry's birthday, let's celebrate the Top Ten Trek slash fic pairings, and their tenderest moments. 

Captain Kirk & Mr. Spock

Captain Kirk & Mr. Spock is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Ten Greatest Moments in Star Trek Slash Fiction
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Like there could be any other choice for #1.

The sexual pairing of Kirk and Spock not only started the entire slash fic craze in the first place, but spawned a million copies and parodies that continue to this very day.

This all started back in 1974, when the first Kirk and Spock romantic pairing was written, called "A Fragment Out Of Time" Kirk and Spock were not called by name in this original story, but rather referred to them as "he" and "him."

Thus, a new mini-genre was created, now known as "Slash Fiction".

By 1987, there were 58 Kirk/Spock fanzines. The phenomenon of K/S was so widespread that when Gene Roddenberry was writing his adaptation of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, he even had an internal monologue of Kirk's dealing with all these rumors of his relationship to Spock.

"I was never aware of this 'lovers' rumor, although I have been told that Spock encountered it several times. Apparently, he had always dismissed it with his characteristic lifting of his right eyebrow, which usually connoted some combination of surprise, disbelief, and/or annoyance. As for myself...I have always found my best gratification in that creature called woman. Also, I would not like to be thought of as being so foolish that I would select a love partner who came into sexual heat only once every seven years. "

—Admiral Kirk, Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Mmmhm. Someone doth protest too much, I think.

In any case, Kirk/Spock slash fic is still the #1 of its kind, and the re-casting of Kirk and Spock with much sexier actors for the 2009 reboot has only made the popularity of K/S swell.

Swell like a throbbing, hard... dilithium crystal.

Worf and Wesley Crusher

Worf and Wesley Crusher is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Ten Greatest Moments in Star Trek Slash Fiction
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This one is wrong on SO many levels.

Mind you, during his time on the show, the character Wesley Crusher (played by geek superstar extraordinaire Wil Wheaton) was only 15-18, give or take. So just with that, this is pretty wrong.

And Wil Wheaton was always a soft skinny little pretty boy. So, ya know... why not pair him with an aggressive Klingon f*ck machine like Worf? Just makes sense right?

it should also be mentioned that there are also a few slash fics where Wesley has sex with not just Worf, but the entire crew. One in particular had the brilliant title "Behind the Red Door" (actor Wil Wheaton has even commented on some of these in his blog; nice to see he has a good sense of humor about stories where his teenage self is sexually abused by his castmates). In one Worf/Wesley fic though, It was Wes who was in charge of a drugged Worf, and essentially rapes him in sick bay. It goes something like this:

He pierced his eyes into Worf's. "All those years, I had something to keep me going...the visions of what I'd do to you one day, how I'd pay you back for all the times you handled me like
a piece of sh*t, a clueless little bugger... Oh yeah, you're so big, Worf," he muttered with eyes closed, slightly rocking on his seat. "My soiled warrior...where's your honor now? F***ed by a human s**t,and you can't do a thing about it." Leaning forward again, he placed his hands on the Klingon's chest, burying his fingernails into the leathery skin.

it gets much worse than that, if you can imagine what a Klingon penis can do to a teenage male virgin, but I think you get the idea.

Data and Geordi LaForge

In the second episode of TNG, we found out that Data was anatomically correct when he put it to security chief Tasha Yar under some alien drunken stupor. He then proceeded to not have sex for several seasons (until the movie First Contact actually) But not in the minds of slashfic writers. Nope, he and his best friend, blind engineer Geordi La Forge were getting it on big time on the Enterprise. Here’s an exchange from "Buddies," a nice little Date/Geordi S&M slash I found:

Geordi brought the riding crop down on Data's back again. WHACK!

"Oh God, YES! Beat me, Master!" Data screamed. "Whip my golden
bitch ass! Whip me like a DOG!" He exclaimed, arching his back.

And, that’s pretty much how it goes. There are lots of other Date pairings, but it seems that his blind boy Geordi is his number one guy. At least there isn't anything about Data and his cat Spot. That I know of....

Captain Picard & Q

Captain Picard & Q is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Ten Greatest Moments in Star Trek Slash Fiction
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Actor John deLancie, who plays Jean Luc Picard’s omnipotent nemesis Q on Star Trek the Next Generation once called Picard his "main squeeze."

Apparently, fandom took that to heart, as there is way more slashfic portraying Picard/Q in love than say, Picard/Commander Riker or Picard/Data. And Q was a character who only appeared on the series as a guest star once a year or so. He wasn't even a main cast member.

Since much of Q's character on the series involved him torementing and humiliating the crew of the Enterprise-D, it only makes sense that the writers of slash fic would translate that into some kind of S&M relationship with Jean Luc Picard. Almost all of the stories involving Picard and Q have a master and servant flavor to them, it seems.

This story in particular is hands down my favorite one. It's called "Pet's Day Out", where Q takes Picard (his "pet") shopping at Ikea, and they have sex on a display bed.

"I'm soooo embarrassed," Picard said as he sprawled out on a sample mattress in the bedroom department. "You look it," drawled Q, surveying Picard's artfully draped, cut-for-an-old-guy manly physique. "Now get hard for Daddy."

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, I'm thinking it too....Isn't it great that Ikea will still be in business in 400 years?