These Quotes Go to ElevenThe greatest, funniest, and most iconic movie and TV quotes from your all-time favorite comedies (and a few you probably haven’t seen).
"The To Do List" movie quotes follow the laughs as one strait-laced teen tries to expand her sexual resume before entering college. The romantic comedy movie was written and directed by Maggie Carey. "The To Do List" opened in theaters in the United States on July 26, 2013.
In "The To Do List," everything is going perfectly and to plan for overachiever Brandy Clark (Aubrey Plaza). She's just recently graduated high school, where she was valedictorian and gathered a bunch of other accolades, and is getting everything in order to attend her first year of college. In making her summer to-do list, Brandy lists the typical things like packing and registering, friends Fiona (Alia Shawkat) and Wendy (Sarah Steele) see as pretty lame. To show her some fun, they drag her to a party complete with lots of alcohol and attractive guys.
At the party, Brandy meets Rusty Waters (Scott Porter) and immediately starts crushing on him. Along with some advice from her older sister Amber (Rachel Bilson), Brandy is convinced that she can get Rusty but only if she gains some sexual experience first. To get there, she creates another to-do list with many sexual acts, all of which she thinks if she can do with other guys first, will get her her crush, to which she can lose her virginity.
Brandy: "Let's do this. This is everything I need to do before college: H*** job, b*** job, r** job. Shocker: One who shocks. Hmm, maybe it's some kind of surprise. Tea bagging, must be British."
Having decided that she needs more sexual experience before she can go to college, Brandy researches sexual acts. Her research brings up some interesting definitions.
Brandy: "I'm engaging, smart, one I add sexually experienced to the package he'll totally want me." Fiona: "Wow, I had no idea you could be so…" Brandy: "Sophisticated?" Fiona: "Slutty. There are things on this list that I haven't even done, Brandy." Wendy: "So you're gonna scam on other guys then hook up with Rusty?" Brandy: "Mmmhmm" Wendy: "No offense, but, how? You said it yourself, he's totally out of your league." Brandy: "I never said that." Fiona: "I did." Brandy: "Okay yes, he's out of my league now but not once I learn how to pearl necklace him… It actually sounds really elegant." Fiona: "It's not."
Like everything she does in life, Brandy has made a plan to win over her crush, Rusty Waters. First she needs to get with other guys to gain some experience points then she will be irresistible.
Amber: "Freshman year is like one big sexual pop quiz. You need to do your homework." Brandy: "Homework, yeah" Amber: "There's penises everywhere!" Brandy: [taking notes] "There's penises everywhere." Amber: "It was awesome!"
Brandy attempts to get some advice about her freshman year of college from her older sister, Amber. While Brandy was more focused on the academics, Amber remembers the extra curricular activities.
High School Principal: "Please welcome to the stage the president of Mathletes, Key Club Treasurer, editor of the school paper as well as well as her own self-published magazine, Women with a Y, valedictorian Brandy Clark." Heckler: "Get off the stage, virgin!"
While it seems like Brandy Clark has it all, being named valedictorian and having a nice resume going into college, one high school heckler points out publicly and painfully that she is missing one thing: Sexual experience. This is a wake up call that changes Brandy's outlook on her priorities for the summer.
Fiona: "Hello, welcome to Big Bun. May I help you?" Brandy: "I've decided to lose my virginity to Rusty Waters." Fiona: "Do you want fries with that?" Brandy: "No"
Brandy has made the decision to lose her virginity to Rusty Waters and announces that to her friends in quite the unconventional way: By sharing the news over the drive through speaker at the local burger restaurant.
Rusty Waters: "New suit?" Brandy: "What, this old thing?" [goes down the slide and loses the top of her bikini in the water] Rusty Waters: "You might wanna put your top back on." Brandy: "Oh my god!" Willy: "I have bigger boobs than you!" Brandy: "What, Janet, you kid's never seen t**s before?"
Brandy tries to play it cool in her brand new bikini but that goes horribly wrong when she loses her top in the pool. To make matters worse, she has to leave the pool topless and while being heckled by her boss.