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The Watch Movie Quotes

Updated August 15, 2019 249 votes 147 voters 84.3k views8 items

Here are the best quotes from 'The Watch,' a movie with some seriously funny lines, starring Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill. In the film, this group of suburban neighbors decide that they'll form a neighborhood watch group to keep an eye on things (and get out of the house once in a while). Things take a hilarious turn when they're forced to defend the neighborhood from alien invaders. See a favorite quote from 'The Watch' listed? Vote for it!

Things are kind of boring in suburbia for Evan (Stiller), Franklin (Hill), Bob (Vaughn) and Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade). Nothing interesting ever seems to happen. To get out of the house, these guys decide that once every week, they'll patrol the neighborhood to keep things safe and quiet. At first, everything's fine. Then? All heck breaks loose when the gang realizes that aliens are planning to invade the world -- and it's up to them to keep everyone in their area safe. Are their neighbors really alien beings bent on doing harm? 'The Watch' also stars Rosemarie DeWitt, Will Forte, Billy Crudup, Nicholas Braun and Doug Jones.

If you love these quotes from 'The Watch,' you might also enjoy these lists of the best lines from 'Ted,' 'The Dark Knight Rises,' 'Seeking a Friend for the End of the World,' 'Men in Black III,' 'Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted,' 'The Three Stooges,' 'Dark Shadows,' 'Rock of Ages,' and 'The Muppets'.

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  • 1

    Stay Out of My Room

    Video: YouTube


    Franklin's Mom: "Franklin, what are you doing? Who are these people?"
    Franklin: "D**n it mom, stay out of my room!" (whispers) "Sorry...I was trying to impress my friends, I was trying to be a big man. I love you."

    Poor Franklin. He decides to join Evan's neighborhood watch group after he's rejected from the local police department. He also still lives with his mom. Emotional issues -- definitely emotional issues.
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  • 2

    Look at Me

    Video: YouTube


    Franklin: "Look at his face."
    Evan: "Look at my face."
    Franklin: "Look at his face and listen to me."
    Evan: "Look at him and listen to me."
    Franklin: "Look at me."
    Evan: "Look at me."
    Franklin: "Look at him and understand me...Look at both of us but understand no one. Listen to my words and hear his face."

    Who is an alien and who isn't? Could a harmless-looking kid be harboring a secret? It's up to the neighborhood watch guys to interrogate him and find out. But first, he needs to hear Evan's face...
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  • 3

    Flavor Snout

    Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY


    Evan: "Check her out. It's like she's studying some new discovery, some bizarre, human, circle fruit." (Elderly woman sniffs a grapefruit) "Should I put it in my flavor snout?"

    The guys quickly realize that aliens might be living among them in suburbia. They decide they'll try to figure out their identities by studying them. And where is the best place to study suburbanites? That's right: Costco!
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  • 4

    The Ball

    Photo: flickr / CC0


    Evan: "Nobody touches this ball until we figure out what it is." (guys aim the ball at a cow and fire, cow explodes)
    Bob: "Whoa! Jesus! That's terrible for the cow but this thing is f**king awesome!"

    The watch members make a shocking discovery: A strange ball or orb that emits an eerie light. What do they do? They aim it at the nearest farm animal and fire away. Poor cow...
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