Total Nerd Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness  

Mariel Loveland
29.2k votes 4k voters 53.3k views 16 items

List Rules Vote up the Disney princes who are total fuccbois.

Disney princes are supposed to be heroes, white knights in shining armor who rush in and save the fragile, victimized princesses from evil queens, sinister spells, and other formidable fates. Unfortunately, all the princes are total fuccbois. What is a fuccboi? According to Urban Dictionary, fuccbois are "the lowest possible form of the vile, degenerate waste pouring from the proverbial *sshole of society." Now, that's not terribly descriptive, but anyone who has ever dated a fuccboi knows it is actually pretty forgiving.

Fuccbois are players. They're the kind of people who will only date you if you don't tell anyone you're dating. They usually exhibit signs of dating multiple people - like when you hang out, you probably notice that they're Snapchatting random girls and moving their phone screen from your line of view. Fuccbois are often shallow, shady, materialistic, and vaguely sexist. Basically, they're everything a Disney Prince should not be. 

From the original Prince, who only bothered to show up in two scenes of Snow White, to John Smith, who's totally willing to date a person of color as long as it's in secret, Disney's men of royalty lack substance, subtly, and spines. Their selfish and egotistical personalities are why Disney princes would be terrible boyfriends. Do you agree? Make your voice known by voting up Disney's biggest fuccbois below. 

list ordered by

1
1,683 609
Prince Charming is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Cinderella

A man who only cares about physical beauty.
Didn't even recognize Cinderella when she wasn't in her designer gown. 

2
2,064 796
Prince Hans is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Prince Hans Frozen

A sly guy who isn't afraid to use his good looks to deceive people.
He doesn't care who has to die in order for him to get ahead. 

3
1,560 587
Prince Florian (The Prince) is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Prince Florian (The Prince) Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

A lazy, sexual predator.
Shows up after the dwarves chase away the Evil Queen.
Takes all the credit and kisses Snow White's lifeless body without her permission. 

4
1,458 719
John Smith is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Pocahontas

A racist, self-righteous Disney Prince who isn't even a real prince.
Casually dated a woman of color and referred to her people as "savages." 

5
1,276 657
Prince Naveen is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
The Princess and the Frog

An immature and egocentric playboy.
He chases after women and money before a traumatic frog experience forces him to grow up. 

6
1,300 675
Prince Eric is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Prince Eric The Little Mermaid

A player through and through.
Has an emotional affair with Ariel while waiting to marry that other girl. 

7
1,079 581
John Rolfe is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Pocahontas

A guy who can't take criticism from a woman.
He gets miffed when someone doesn't behave "properly" and is quite stubborn.

8
940 637
Prince Phillip is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Sleeping Beauty

A master manipulator who preys on young girls.
He's seven years older than the 16-year-old Aurora (yup, she's underage). 

9
858 600
Phoebus is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Part drama queen, part know-it-all.
His sexism is clear when he is surprised time and time again by Esmerelda's bravery and strength. 

10
1,081 859
Aladdin is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Aladdin

A thief, a natural liar, and a gold digger.
Loves to hang around brothels in a vest with no shirt like a true fuccboi. 

11
732 891
Prince Adam (The Beast) is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Prince Adam (The Beast) Beauty and the Beast

A man who was so self-centered and spoiled that an Enchantress literally transformed him into a beast.
Has intense anger issues and is super controlling. 

12
715 976
Flynn Rider is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Tangled, Tangled Ever After

A thief and a smooth talker who uses his charms and his looks to get what he wants.
He lies about his identity and isn't ashamed about his life of crime. 

13
464 841
Hercules is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Hercules Hercules

A guy who isn't afraid to throw around his daddy's name for recognition.
Sure, it isn't being a god among men, but the dude's ego is so huge that you find yourself rooting for Hades. 

14
539 1,003
Li Shang is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Mulan

An arrogant prick and a sexist workaholic.
He thinks only men are fit for combat and is completely shocked when he finds out Mulan is a woman. 

15
469 1,030
Simba is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
The Lion King

A guy who ran away from his duties and responsibilities to his kingdom.
Spent time just chilling in the woods as his evil uncle ruined life for everyone else. 

16
422 1,122
Kristoff is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list Every Disney Prince, Ranked By Uselessness
Frozen

A passive guy who constantly complains about being friend-zoned.
He follows women around like an unnecessary accessory.