If all the video footage is to be believed, Black Friday deals can seemingly entice even the most composed person to whack a total stranger in the face. There is really no rhyme or reason to the things people fight over on Black Friday. As long as it's cheap, on sale, and could remotely fit the needs of someone on your shopping list, we are willing to brawl to get our hands on it.
The high-stakes atmosphere is only cultivated by the retail industry. By opening doors on Thanksgiving or even earlier, stores are setting up a tense situation where supply is limited, deals are too good to pass up, and people are too stressed out and exhausted to refrain from physical violence after waiting in line all night. It may not say something particularly noble about this land of ours, but we will do some of the most outrageous things to get our hands on the hottest Black Friday products.
If you're currently plotting your plan of attack, you first need to know what people want to buy on Black Friday this year. Here are a few of the season's hottest items. They will be worth any assault charges or body casts that may result from obtaining them.
The Biggest Television Humanity Is Capable Of Producing
That New Smartphone That Shames You Into Skipping The Christmas Cookies
Gaming Consoles To Help You Avoid Your Family Throughout The Holidays
New Keurig Coffee Machines Built To Withstand Destruction From Supporters Of Sexual Predators
A High-Powered Blender That Can Instantly Pulverize Fruits, Veggies, And Love Letters From That Guy Who Ghosted You
Power Tools To Build Bomb Shelters And Underground Bunkers
Drones Disguised As Bats To Both Terrify And Spy On Your Neighbors
Sleepthruvia: A New Over-The-Counter Drug That Induces Hibernation Until After The New Year
Hatchimals That Never Hatch (They're Just Eggs)
Padded Legos That Don't Kill When You Step On One
The Amazon Wreck-O: A Smart Speaker That Keeps You Entertained When You're Drinking Alone
The Sitbit: A Device That Tracks All Your Sedentary Activity So You Can Find The Comfiest Spots To Hide From The World And Cry
A Virtual Reality Device That Takes You Into A Hillary Presidency
An Apple Watch Knockoff That Counts Down The Days Until Impeachment
Free $50 Walmart Gift Card With Purchase Of $300 Worth Of Sweatpants And/Or Jorts
A Vacuum Cleaner That Gathers Pet Hair And Weaves It Into A Fashionable Scarf
Nonperishable Food Supplies For Bomb Shelters And Underground Bunkers
A Tablet Preloaded With Cat Videos
Ivanka Trump's Discounted Thanksgiving Clamshell Table Décor
Eclipse Glasses Priced To Sell