Prison Guards Describe The Weirdest Items The've Confiscated From Inmates

If nothing else, people in prison have a fair amount of time on their hands. So it’s no surprise how creative inmates have become in making themselves personal items to pass the time. These items run the gamut from sex toys, to weapons, to game pieces, and other scary implements. The majority of these items are also prohibited. Who discovers and disposes of these small treasures? The very people who guard the prison. These true stories, many from prison guards, detail the many things that have been confiscated from inmates and other incarcerated persons.

  • Prisoners Created Blow Up Doll, It Rots From Inside

    From user: imsrslysrs

    “I worked at a super max facility for a little bit and the one that stuck out to me was 2-3 inmates had stolen a sh*tload of towels and kept wetting them and twisting them tighter and tighter until they held a twisted shape and then they bound it with ripped clothes into a human shape, gave it arms legs everything. Then they rolled one towel into a tube like vagina secured it to the body of towels and would f**k it like a blow up doll. Except they shared it with anyone who wanted it. When we found it, it was brown, moldy and smelt like a rotting corpse.”

  • Kids "Cooking" Orange Peels For A High

    From user: CircleK1112

    “I work at a juvenile detention center or as we like to call it, 'kid jail.' Occasionally we will find orange peels sitting in one of the cell windows. Apparently some kid at some point figured out if you put toothpaste on an orange peel and let it sit in the sun for a few days you can have a mild trip if you eat it. Never seen anyone actually do it but I have thrown away quite a few orange peels in the process of cooking.”

  • She Hid Drugs In Her Weave

    User pintzofguinness wrote:

    “While I was in Tent City with work release, we had a mandatory pat down and search before we were able to go back in to the tents. One of the other inmates must have tipped off the guards because we all had to take our hair down (which never happened) and this woman got caught bringing in pills and meth bags that were glued to where her weave was attached on her head. I thought that was quite clever.”

  • Women Inmates Made Sex Toys From Jolly Ranchers

    User p-bunimo recalls inmates capturing the sweet taste of sexual satisfaction:

    “They stopped selling Jolly Ranchers on the commissary because the women (probably some men too) would suck on them and then stick them together into dildos of all elaborate shapes and  sizes…and flavors.”

  • Wiccan Wants Girlfriend To Hold Bodily Fluids In Her Privates

    User Carti3r shared this disturbing anecdote: 

    “Speaking for my father in law who is a prison guard in Idaho:

    'Caught a wiccan inmate with a medicine bottle/vial filled with his toenails, spit, blood, semen, a couple of eyelashes, and dirt from the yard. It was sealed with a letter to his girlfriend with instructions to insert it into her vagina until he got out...... 18 months later.'”

  • Prisoner Used False Teeth To Cut Wrist, Other Prisoner Tries To Electrocute Guard

    From user: aaronthenia:

    “Not so much a weird item but I remember being impressed at the ingenuity of one suicidal guy. Took out his partial teeth and was sawing away at his wrist.

    We did sell AM/FM radios at one point but administration got concerned when one guy spliced together several feet of the wires from a bunch of radios and hooked it up to the lights. He planned to flood his cell and electrocute an officer. Wouldn't work with that thin wire I am sure but they stopped selling radios after that.”