Mockery
1.6k voters

Things Taylor Swift Ruined For Everyone Else

Updated October 13, 2018 8.5k votes 1.6k voters 97.3k views18 items

List RulesUpvote the things you will never, ever, ever find cool again.

Taylor Swift is great singer-songwriter who has crafted plenty of really good songs, but the one thing she truly excels at is taking something cool and running it into the ground. It doesn’t matter what it is, if Taylor Swift gets her hands on something cool then she immediately rings it dry in what seems like an attempt to bleed the world of anything fun. Of all the things Taylor Swift ruined, Tom Hiddleston may have suffered the most. Before dating Swift he was at the top of his game, an actor on the precipice of breathing the rarified air of someone who could star in big budget smash ‘em ups while still appearing in critically acclaimed art pieces. But the moment the world saw him in photos with Swift they gave him a big thumbs down while blowing a raspberry and he just couldn’t shake it off. You may not want to admit it, but the one person at fault for turning his career into a blank space was Taylor Swift.

The "Bad Blood" singer doesn’t just have the power to ruin the careers of the people she surrounds herself with, she can also make entire concepts uncool. How do you feel about vacationing, romance, or dancing? After learning how Swift destroyed these concepts you used to love, you can direct your hate towards the young lady who’s living out her wildest dreams (Swift). And those are just a few of the things Taylor Swift made uncool. 

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    The Grammys

    Photo: Eva Rinaldi / Flickr

    To be fair, Swift had a bit of help from the awards themselves this time, whose out-of-touch committees continue to honor the mediocre over the masterpiece. However, as an artist who supposedly cares very much that artists receive their dues, Swift should also care that musical excellence also receives the proper acclaim. Someone who "know(s) every word" to "Backseat Freestyle" also knows that To Pimp a Butterfly makes 1989 look like a glorified high school diary. At least when Adele won Album of the Year she acknowledged that it should have gone to Beyoncé. Swift's acceptance speech was just her same old shtick: attack Kanye.

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  • 10

    Romance In General

    Photo: YouTube

    Whatever your idea of romance was before Taylor Swift took over Instagram with photos of her and the boyfriend of the fiscal quarter (Calvin Harris, Tom Hiddleston, or whichever bland white guy she's currently into) it's completely different now. Before, you could just have a nice time eating Thai food and watching Netflix with your bae, but now whatever you're doing to show that you love your significant other isn't as good as whatever Swift is doing to show prove her real human emotions. Are you writing your initials in the sand of a beach off of the Caribbean? Are you surrounded by your #squad? Is Ryan Reynolds there looking sad? If not then you're not in love. 

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    Streaming Services

    Photo: Zennie Abraham / Flickr

    It's actually easy to go the artist route without using streaming services, that is, if you routinely sell platinum albums in an era where selling albums at all is cause for cigars. Taylor Swift could start handing CDs out the back of a van for free and at the end of the day still have money to go roll in. Yet because of her pull as an artist, now other artists feel obligated to keep their catalogues off of Spotify, and consumers all feel guilty for using streaming services. As a result, nobody wins except for Swift, who profits off your guilt and by being the only artist anyone knows about. Clever girl.

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  • For a couple of years Lorde was the coolest up-and-coming artist that had a unique sound unlike any other. Her cover of "Swingin' Party" is legitimately cooler than the original and her debut album is one of the rare LPs by someone so young that actually delivers on the promise of her early singles. But then she became friends with Swift - which is fine, people need friends and Swift seems like someone you can call when you're walking around Target aimlessly - and Swift's boring pop aesthetic slowly began to morph Lorde into just another quirky singer songwriter who feels like Bjork light. And that's fine, but we've already got Sia - we don't need another.

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