Graveyard Shift
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12 Creepy Things Your Body Does That You Have No Control Over

Updated February 23, 2019 449.9k views12 items

You may think you're in control of your bodily functions, but it's a fool's errand to think you can take hold of the reins of the runaway carriage that is your body. Whether you're awake or asleep, there are things your body is always doing, and some of those bodily functions you can't control are very creepy if not out-and-out disgusting. The human body is a pulsating, gurgling mass of life that's constantly degenerating and regenerating itself, which means that at any point of the day you're carrying around a wheelbarrow full of decay in your body. And there's nothing you can do about it.

The ways you can't control your body don't just apply to all the disgusting things going on inside your stomach - the never-ending saga of chaos also applies to your brain. You may think that you can boss your noggin around, but with the number of random neurons firing off in that big grey mass you call your think box, there's no way to know what it's going to do next. After reading about the things going on in your body you can't control, you should worship at the temple of your strange body, reveling in the fact that it is a complicated system that's constantly teetering on the brink of destruction. The only other way to handle this information is running into the night screaming and trying to rip off your flesh - something you may actually want to do after reading a few of these pieces of information. 

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  • You Swallow A Lot Of Mucus

    Try as you might, you'll never be able to stop swallowing gobs of mucus all the live-long day. It's a truly disgusting trick that our bodies play on us. Throughout a period of 24 hours, our bodies produce 1.5 liters of snot. To put this into perspective, think of the bottles of Smartwater that cost about $2.50 in a convenience store.

    That's how much mucus your body makes in a single day. Without having to think about it, we produce mucus in our mouths, throats, and nasal passages to act as a net or barrier for unwanted particles in our body. 

  • The Hypnagogic Jerk Is Gonna Getcha

    You know when you're lying in bed at night, trying to quell the voices that are screaming in your head so you can get some sleep, and just before you doze off into dreamland, your leg kicks out with an agenda of its own? That's what's known as the hypnagogic jerk. Some doctors believe that increased use of caffeine can cause the jerk, while others maintain it's an archaic evolutionary reflex left over from when our kind used to sleep in trees.

    But other than those basically wild guesses at the cause of a very strange involuntary spasm, most of the other information is simply one big shrug. 

  • Good And Bad Bacteria Are Fighting It Out In Your Guts

    Photo: Nicola Fawcett / Wikimedia Commons / CC BY-SA 4.0

    This battle for the inside of your stomach and intestines is called gut flora, and it's a bit disgusting. It's a system of complex microbes that live in your digestive tract and help you synthesize vitamins B and K while producing hormones that you need to have functioning organs.

    This gut flora allows us to metabolize unused carbohydrates, so we kind of need it for pizza night.

  • Your Stomach Lining Expires And Regenerates Itself Every Two Weeks

    When you think about it, your body is constantly rebuilding every few weeks, months, and years; you're not even close to the same person that you were when you were born. The most disgusting and frankly unsettling of regenerations that your body traffics in is the constant acidic breakdown and restructuring of your stomach lining.

    Because of the exposure to stomach acid, the cells in your gullet dissolve and rebuild themselves over the course of about a week, depending on the strength of your stomach acid.