Total Nerd 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search  

Brian Gilmore
156 votes 71 voters 12.2k views 12 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the things you really wish you didn't know about.

It's pretty hard to impress Game of Thrones fans with anything grotesque, graphic, or just plain morally repugnant. But there are still plenty of things you should never Google about the show. There's a shocking amount of cringe-worthy fan fiction out there; pairing Ramsay Bolton and Theon Greyjoy definitely numbers among upsetting Game of Thrones things. And then there are the stories that feature animals. Just because warging is a thing in Westeros doesn't make it okay.

Upsetting Game of Thrones fandom facts go beyond the explicit. Some stuff actually ruins the experience of watching the show. For example, there is a whole subreddit dedicated to making "friend-zoned" jokes about Jorah Mormont. So no matter what happens to him, or how serious the scene is, anyone who has seen one of those memes will smile whenever he is on screen. Taking something sincere and making it into a punchline is uniquely brutal.

There are so many things you didn't want to know about Game of Thrones fandom, from the uncomfortable fantasies to the dumb jokes. You've been warned: you can un-see (or un-read) anything here.

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The Mare That Mounts The World


The Mare That Mounts The World is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search
Photo: HBO

"The Stallion That Mounts The World" is a Dothraki myth about a man who will rule the world. In the books/show, Daenerys Targaryen's son was supposedly the Stallion – but in the fan fiction "The Mare That Mounts The World," the story is, uh, a little different. It imagines Daenerys getting intimate with an actual horse, due to a Dothraki ritual that requires the khaleesi mating with the khal's stallion. Spoiler: it doesn't end well for the horse.

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Game Of Moans


Game Of Moans is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search
Photo: HBO

"Game Of Moans" is the name of the sex toy you never knew you needed. It's a sword with a hilt, a direwolf decoration, and a grey shaft. It's versatile, and will also give you something positive to think about whenever someone gets horribly killed on each episode of Game of Thrones.

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Dreams Of Nymeria


Dreams Of Nymeria is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search
Photo: HBO

To understand "Dreams of Nymeria," you need to know what warging is. A "warg" is a person with the ability to enter the minds of an animal (or multiple animals) in order to see what they see.

"Dreams of Nymeria" takes the idea of warging and adds a liberal dose of bestiality. In the fan fiction, Robb Stark wargs into his direwolf and has sex with Arya Stark's direwolf while she is warging into her direwolf too. For those keeping track, that's incest on two levels.

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Inside Jorah's Head


Inside Jorah's Head is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search
Photo: via Reddit

There's a whole subreddit revolving around Jorah Mormont's unrequited feelings toward Daenerys Targaryen. "Inside Jorah's Head" features memes, image macros, and Photoshops about Jorah pining for Daenerys's attention, only to be forgotten for quite literally every other man on the show. If you read this, you will never take Jorah seriously ever again – especially because this version of the character refers to himself as "J. Bear."