Total Nerd

11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search  

Brian Gilmore
653 votes 193 voters 19k views 12 items

List Rules Vote up the things you really wish you didn't know about.

It's pretty hard to impress Game of Thrones fans with anything grotesque, graphic, or just plain morally repugnant. But there are still plenty of things you should never Google about the show. There's a shocking amount of cringe-worthy fan fiction out there; pairing Ramsay Bolton and Theon Greyjoy definitely numbers among upsetting Game of Thrones things. And then there are the stories that feature animals. Just because warging is a thing in Westeros doesn't make it okay.

Upsetting Game of Thrones fandom facts go beyond the explicit. Some stuff actually ruins the experience of watching the show. For example, there is a whole subreddit dedicated to making "friend-zoned" jokes about Jorah Mormont. So no matter what happens to him, or how serious the scene is, anyone who has seen one of those memes will smile whenever he is on screen. Taking something sincere and making it into a punchline is uniquely brutal.

There are so many things you didn't want to know about Game of Thrones fandom, from the uncomfortable fantasies to the dumb jokes. You've been warned: you can un-see (or un-read) anything here.

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5 32 VOTES
A Song Of Lust And Desire
A Song Of Lust And Desire is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search
Photo: HBO

"A Song Of Lust And Desire" is a fan fiction revolving around people gettin' down and dirty with White Walkers. In this case, the horrifying entities out to destroy the world have "lust in their icy blue eyes." Good luck not laughing outright when they next appear on the show.

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6 43 VOTES
Dirty Game Of Thrones
Dirty Game Of Thrones is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search
Photo: via Reddit

"Dirty Game of Thrones" sounds like an obviously poor choice for a Google search, but it's even darker than you might imagine. It's a repository for the Internet's anonymous confessions about sex-related Game of Thrones fantasies, and it's not for the faint of heart.

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7 44 VOTES
Game Of Moans
Game Of Moans is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search
Photo: HBO

"Game Of Moans" is the name of the sex toy you never knew you needed. It's a sword with a hilt, a direwolf decoration, and a grey shaft. It's versatile, and will also give you something positive to think about whenever someone gets horribly killed on each episode of Game of Thrones.

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8 35 VOTES
Stannis The Mantis
Stannis The Mantis is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list 11 Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search
Photo: HBO

Stannis Baratheon is a tragic character, but a deep dive into the subreddit "Stannis The Mantis" really saps the emotion out of his storyline. The subreddit is dedicated specifically to "[convincing] the world of the fact that Stannis Baratheon is a gigantic praying mantis in disguise." Here's the supposed evidence of Stannis's Mantishood:

"Stannis does not sleep with his wife for fear of sexual cannibalism.

Stannis' daughter Shireen was born in Spring, when insects swarm. Her greyscale would also make an excellent cover story for birth defects caused by the human/mantis DNA incompatibility.

Stannis hunts like a mantis. He is most successful at war when he is able to trap and/or ambush his enemy.

Stannis has a rough time in the snow. This is likely due to being an insect."

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