Disney The 14 Thirstiest Disney Villain Sidekicks  

Drew Grant
332 votes 63 voters 2k views 14 items

List Rules Only animated (or semi-animated) Disney films allowed.

It's hard to be a secondary character in a children's film. Everyone wants to be Buzz Lightyear, no one wants to be Hamm. Aladdin is a cool Halloween costume, his monkey is just the lesser of the offensive Apus

This goes double for any sidekick baddies in the Disney landscape. Ursula gets to be an octo-witch with magic aural super powers, but her lackies, Flotsam and Jetsam, mainly just serve to flip over the canoe during the "Kiss the Girl" number. 

So you got to wonder: what's in it for the villainous sidekicks in these films, who are constantly being berated by their (literally evil) bosses, stuck doing the grunt work and not making scale. Some henchmen (or women!) do it because they too are evil, some do it because they want to ascend the ranks past their own meager position in life, and some...well, some just don't know any better, having developed a form of Stockholm's Syndrome with their boss/master/owner/whatever. Those are the thirsty sidekicks, and they can be redeemed. Others, like the hyenas in The Lion King, are only out for themselves, and are therefore fit more in the "chaotic evil" section of the alignment chart.

Below, the Disney villain sidekicks ranked from thirstiest to worstiest.

1 39 VOTES

Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed, 'The Lion King'

Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed, 'The L... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The 14 Thirstiest Disney Villain Sidekicks
Photo: Walt Disney Pictures

Shenzi, Banzai and Ed definitely win the least thirsty award for actually killing and eating their master, Scar, when he doesn't make good on his promise of bountiful food he made during his (very Nazi-inspired) pitch to have them kill Mufasa and Simba.

Which just goes to show: bad help, like good, is hard to find.

35 4
Overeager to please or just evil?
2 39 VOTES

Stepsisters, 'Cinderella'

Stepsisters, 'Cinderella' is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The 14 Thirstiest Disney Villain Sidekicks
Photo: Walt Disney Pictures

These are the thirstiest side-wenches in all the land, although the Disney version cuts out the part of the original Grimm's tale that would show you just how far these step-sisters were willing to go to marry Prince Charming. No spoilers, but if you want to know, Into the Woods includes a non-gory version of that adaptation.

But besides thirsting for that sweet prince action, are these sisters truly villain loyalists, or could either of them ever switch sides and be redeemed? The Disney version says no, Drew Barrymore's Ever After claims at least one for the side of good, and the aforementioned Into the Woods shows a step-family so thirsty to stand next to the crown they immediately start sucking up to their former kitchen wench the moment she marries into royalty. So essentially, these ladies are the Kardashians of Disney. Take that as you will.

32 7
Overeager to please or just evil?
3 31 VOTES

Iago is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The 14 Thirstiest Disney Villain Sidekicks
Photo: Walt Disney Pictures

Here's a good question no one asks about Iago: what is a parrot doing in a Middle Eastern country during this time period? According to some rough math: Aladdin is one of the stories in One Thousand and One Nights, which was written during the Islamic Golden Age from the 8th-14th century. At the very latest, the first English edition of these stories were published in 1706 and may have featured one story involving a husband with a parrot. But they were definitely not indigenous to the region. Then again, this story is about a giant genie and an ending where the princess gets to choose who to marry, so Disney wasn't exactly hewing to the realism of the times.

Reglardless, Iago, unlike his namesake–(which, talk about timey-wimey stuff! Shakespeare hadn't been born yet!)– definitely has some character motivation. Mostly, he hates eating crackers. His alliance with Jafar is more "old bickering couple" than traditional master/servant, with Iago also working off his own self-interest in the end of the film by trying to fly away from the genie's curse. Despite breaking alliances Iago, like Jafar, gets sucked into the bottle and stays there for a millennia. Or just like, a year or two, since they both come back, Iago as a reformed protagonist, in the straight to VHS sequel Aladdin II: The Return of Jafar.

If we take all three Aladdin movies as canon, Iago is definitely a repentant with a healthy sense of self-preservation. So despite eating all those crackers, this birdie just isn't that thirsty.

Appears In: Disney's House of Mouse, Aladdin, Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed in at the House of Mouse, Disney Princess Enchanted Tales: Follow Your Dreams, Jasmine's Enchanted Tales: Journey of a Princess, + more

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24 7
Overeager to please or just evil?
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LeFou is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The 14 Thirstiest Disney Villain Sidekicks
Photo: Walt Disney Pictures

Has there been a lackey in history more thirsty than LeFou? He literally has an entire song dedicated to how virile and masculine his...boss?...best friend?...childhood chum who still takes him out to shoot geese once in awhile?...is. And look, Gaston is a very handsome guy, what with that butt-chin and his diet of 60 eggs a day. 

But LeFou is a terrible influence on Gaston, even more so than those three swooning village girls, because he doesn't just take his orders from rural France's prototype for toxic masculinity, he actually encourages his bad behavior:

Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Gaston!

Heh heh. Darn right.

Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear.

More beer?

These two belong in a Neil LaBute play, not roaming around our childhood imagination.

Appears In: Beauty and the Beast, Beauty and the Beast

25 10
Overeager to please or just evil?
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