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This Means War Movie Quotes

Updated June 8, 2017 237 votes 70 voters 63.7k views10 items

'This Means War' movie quotes include the most clever, best lines from the 2012 film that pits two CIA agents against each other as they try to win the affections of a beautiful woman. Agents FDR Foster (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy) are actually good friends, until they both fall for Lauren (Reese Witherspoon). Their efforts to attract her wind up nearly destroying them. See a favorite 'This Means War' quote on this list? By all means, vote it up. And if you know of a great 'This Means War' movie quote that isn't on the list, add it!

'This Means War' is directed by McG ('Terminator Salvation,' 'Charlie's Angels') and also stars Chelsea Handler, Til Schweiger, Abigail Spencer and Angela Bassett. When Lauren finds that she likes both Tuck and Foster, it's up to the two agents to help her make her choice. They pull out all the stops, too, using all of their CIA high-tech gadgets to their advantage. It's spy vs. spy: Who will Lauren choose? And can Tuck and Foster manage to keep their professional lives separate from their personal lives?

Great movies feature excellent quotes: lines that stick with you long after you've left the theater. For more of the best quotes and dialogue from hit movies, check out these lists for the great quotes from 'Journey 2: The Mysterious Island' 'The Woman in Black,' 'Big Miracle,' 'Hugo,' 'The Muppets,' 'The Rum Diary,' 'Moneyball,' 'The Descendants,' 'War Horse,' 'Arthur Christmas,' 'Happy Feet 2,' 'Tower Heist,' 'Puss in Boots,' 'The Smurfs' movie, 'Cars 2' and 'Jack and Jill.'
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  • 1

    He's a Little Safe

    Video: YouTube


    Lauren (to Trish): "Tuck is great, he's sweet, he's kind, we have so much fun. But he's maybe too sweet -- a little earnest? Sort of safe."

    Lauren is talking to Trish pretty openly about how she feels about FDR and Tuck, specifically, their flaws. After explaining that FDR has "tiny T Rex hands," she tells Trish that Tuck seems pretty safe. Unbeknownst to her, Tuck and FDR are listening in - and Tuck decides to take action and prove to Lauren that he's a bad a**. With paintball. And things don't go so well for him...
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  • 2

    Make It Rain


    Lauren (to Tuck): "This has been the perfect night."
    FDR: "Make it rain."

    Lauren's big date with Tuck is going quite well. When they get back to her apartment, things get a little hot and heavy. FDR's monitoring the situation, and decides it's time to derail Tuck's evening. Quickly.
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  • 3

    Finger Painting with Gustav Klimt


    FDR (to Lauren): "He was a strong advocate of the finger painting movement."
    Agent (after losing his audio hookup to FDR): "We lost contact."
    Tuck (taking over the audio feed to FDR): "Sometimes he would finger his paintings to get closer to them."
    FDR (to Lauren): "The intimacy with the canvas, to finger a painting...to..."
    Tuck: "Sometimes he would use mud and sticks..."
    FDR (to Lauren): "You know, he used mud and sticks..."
    Tuck: "And if he couldn't find a stick..."
    FDR (to Lauren): "And if he couldn't find a stick...just use..."
    Lauren: "What?!"
    FDR (to Lauren): "You know, enough talking. Let's let the paintings speak for themselves."

    When FDR learns that Lauren is a fan of famed Austrian painter Gustav Klimt, he decides to wow her with his knowledge of fine art. He hooks up an audio feed with another agent, who feeds him lines about what to say about each Klimt painting. Things are going really well, until Tuck takes over the audio -- and FDR suddenly begins explaining to Lauren that Klimt liked finger painting.
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  • 4

    Gloria Steinem


    Trish (to Lauren): "You think Gloria Steinem got arrested and sat in a jail cell so you could act like a little bitch?"

    Lauren's feeling a bit strange about dating two guys at once. Her friend Trish (Chelsea Handler) seems to have no problem with the idea, reminding her that she needs to suck it up and enjoy her freedom as a single woman.
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