When Tiger King dropped on Netflix, the world was not ready. After the double-take we all did after watching the preview, most of us were helpless but to binge-watch the whole series in a daze. People everywhere collectively suffered whiplash from the wild twists and turns in the story of big cat showman Joe Exotic and his mortal enemy, Carole Baskin, along with a colorful cast of characters. It was more than we ever could've dreamed; sordid murder-for-hire plots, unregulated weaponry, zoo-based cults, mysterious disappearances... the list goes on. Now, as the credits rolled on that final episode and you gazed forward, slack-jawed and numb, only one question could have naturally occurred to you next:
"Just which Tiger King character am I most like, based solely on my zodiac sign?"
Well, wonder no longer, for the answers lay below.
Mario Tabraue: Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leos love to live large and indulge in their passions, much like Mario Tabraue. The lion's habit-forming personality can get a little out of hand sometimes, and in some cases, may end up with them literally owning one too many actual lions. You work hard to surround yourself with luxury and make your personal dreams a reality, even if that means bending a few of the rules to get what you want. So you did some sketchy (and extremely illegal) things in your past, so what? You've changed and you deserve to have the world for making it through that rough spot!
When someone tells you that you can't do or have something, then you are suddenly overcome with the indomitable urge to go for it. You'll bide your time and wait until you can live out your desires. When the time comes, you're not going to hold back. You go big or you don't go at all.
Allen Glover: Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Everyone is always asking you to do them favors, aren't they, Virgo? You're a natural people-pleaser, so you may find yourself agreeing to whatever wild requests are asked of you. With your serious attitude, many folks look at you and see a tough exterior that may not fully represent who you are at heart.
Virgos may often find themselves overcommitting, just like Allen Glover did when Joe Exotic asked him to take care of a little problem he liked to call "that crazy b*tch in Florida." You would rather pretend to be calm, collected, and in charge rather than risk your pride by backing down from a tough job. As a fastidious pennysaver, you also are hard-pressed to turn down any chance for some extra spending money! When push comes to shove, though, you wouldn't really go through with something you know is wrong.
John Finlay: Libra (September 23 - October 22)
As a Libra, you like to go with the flow, even if that means staying stuck in a less-than-ideal situation. If you have your basic wants and needs fulfilled, your easy-going nature may lead you to stay put. Being a Libra is a balancing act, sort of like when you're married to a man you're not that into but also trying to secretly date one of the women who works for him. Confrontations are especially uncomfortable for Libras, so they avoid them at all costs, even when that means they'd have to live in a rundown private zoo and forage what meals they can from truckloads of expired meat.
Despite all this, the loyalty of a Libra runs very deep and they will form intense bonds with their found family. Idealists that they are, Libras will keep their dreams in mind as they endure the unpleasantness of their current life.
Barbara ‘Bala’ Fischer: Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)
Ever the romantic, Scorpio's dreams of love and adventure can lead them into some pretty tough spots. Their desires are so strong that they are willing to take risks to get what they want. Sometimes, however, one thing leads to another and next thing you know, you find yourself trapped as a member of a cult that exploits you into working for peanuts as a zookeeper. Barbara Fisher was lured into this unpleasant situation and spent a number of years performing the grueling labor of caring for the big cats in Doc Antle's private zoo.
However, once she escaped, she had no qualms about exposing the terrible conditions and misdeeds of Doc Antle's exotic animal cult. Scorpios are known to be vengeful and merciless to those who harm them. They believe sometimes karma needs a good push in the right direction to take down someone who's had it coming.