READ The Top 11 Greatest Alternatives to Women  

Jennifer Lee
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When faced with the lack of a female companion with which to share their lives, most men turn to introspection and self-improvement -- and other men simply use (or invent) inanimate objects. Here are the ten greatest alternatives to women ever used by man. Happy Singles Awareness Week.

What are the greatest alternatives to real women? Well, for those of you who are interested in these types of things, there are ten great ways you can get the job done without an actual living being being present. So if dolls, pillow wives, sex bots and a slew of other random things are to your liking, take a look here and hopefully you'll find love in one of these items.

Your Very Own Silicone Brothel

By far topping off the list as the most extravagant and costliest alternative to a living, breathing woman is Ichinea Tabo's accumulation of not one, but a whole apartment full of Japenese (keep in mind, only Japanese) "love dolls."

The man's name is Tabo. And he's about as sane as his name is not-fun to say. The news report tells it best:

"Tabo is one of the increasing number of Japanese men who has given up on dating or marrying women in the real world and turn to these dolls for love, affection and sex."

"Tabo has spent over $170,000 (US Dollars) over the past decade to buy nearly 100 of these sex dolls."

"A human girl can betray you, or cheat on you sometimes, but these dolls do none of those things. They belong to me 100%."

Besides the fact that Tabo has essentially created a fun house of suspiciously young-looking love dolls, all of which weigh about 70 lbs a piece, and that each one is priced between $6,000 and $7,000, as well as the fact that he has almost 100 of them -- he seems like a pretty normal dude.

The company that makes them actually started making these dolls (originally) for handicapped men, but eventually started selling them to anybody looking for weird, corpse-like companionship.

In an incredibly populated society such as Japan's, surely Tabo could have found a better deal in an investment of a real human woman more accommodating to his hierarchy of needs. But then again, it's an enormous chance that he'll suffer actual heartbreak and rejection, so why not take the definite route of avoiding such nearly inevitable misery by having multiple silicone play things? It only makes logical sense.

Aiko: The Most Sophisticated Fem(Sex) Bot in the World

Aiko is another replacement that someone has actually built himself for his enjoyment. It (she?) does chores, makes sandwiches and is even good for sex.

She was actually invented for a scientist, by a scientist (the same guy) who decided he's spend a long time going Weird Science instead of just becoming what we here in reality like to call "dateable."

Think of it kind of like the story behind Astro Boy -- only instead of a brilliant scientist building an android version of his dead son, it's a brilliant scientist building an android version of a chick who will actually give him the time of day.

Aiko's not your average run of the mill fembot, she boasts capabilities of speech, memory, and the ability to do simple household chores. Yes, she can iron AND fold clothes. She also makes sandwiches and she is the brainchild of inventor Le Trung

Trung likens his inventive creation to a real woman, based on her hormones and states, "Like a real female she will react to being touched in certain ways. If you grab or squeeze too hard she will try to slap you. Technology mimics humankind to the fullest, the perfect feature for masochists, it is a new and state of the art method in producing pains -- being slapped by a large mass of silicone and steel every once in a while is what really adds to the heat of the relationship."

I must repeat... "relationship."


The Ever-Famous Fleshlight

Fleshlights are reportedly actually pretty awesome. Supposedly they do feel close to the real thing, are kind of gross to wash, but are worth it if you're really hitting that kind of a dry spell.

Portable, convenient, reliable, and easily concealable -- and unlike most women, easily consolable.

Aren't those the main qualities that every man looks for in a woman?

It only makes sense to cram only the absolute necessary bits of a woman in an unsuspecting and incredibly resourceful useful space of a flashlight-sized "sexual sleeve."

It also has many "lip attachments" that allow the common man to replace, switch out and buy new versions of the labia attached at the end.

For the man on the go, the man who likes to keep his private life concealed, or the man who simply gets a kick out of having sex with the hybrid of an inanimate object and the warmth of a woman's lady bits, is a steep diversion from that of an actual woman, but is sure to do the job in "emergency" situations.

Only one question remains: is the Fleshlight heavy? Do you use it like a hand?... or do you stick it on stuff like couches? Let us all know in the comments if you have one.

A Japanese Pillow/Wife

Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Only in Japan -- where you can apparently marry a pebble you found on the ground (if it's pretty enough, doesn't make too much of a fuss, and you guys really hit it off.)

Lee Jin-Gyu, 28 year old self-proclaimed "otaku," which translates roughly from Japanese into "obsessive Japanese nerd" has fallen hard for his Dakimakura -- a large body pillow usually with an anime character printed on it. In this case it's the character, Fate Testarossa from the anime series "Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha."

Let's see if they're a good couple:

Fate is a mage from the Garden of Time, who is sent to collect Jewel Seeds, which puts her at odds with rival Nanoha Takamachi. She is aided on her quest by an animal familiar, a mature dog-woman named Arf, and is at constant odds against her rival Nanoha Takamachi. In the second and third season she works as a TSA officer.

Jin-Gyu went out and bought a pillow who isn't even shaped like a hot chick, it just has one drawn on her. It. It just has one drawn on IT.

Well, either way, it's happened. Yes, you can apparently do this in Japan -- you can marry anything. Jin-Gyi has already tried his hardest to make his father jump off a bridge by actually marrying the pillow as of March 2010. With a memorable ceremony including a fitted wedding dress for the love of his life and a priest to complete the process.

Although the YouTube clip may not be in a familiar language, it's worth taking the five minutes out of your day to view the incredible interaction that the dude has with his pillow. You get to follow their usual day about town as they take a day trip to a local amusement park in which cameras follow them around as they progress from ride to ride among the spectators in awe -- most likely because they think he won something awesome, probably not because they know he's married to her. It. IT.

Given the popular increase of men falling in love with these Dakimuras and similar inanimate objects, the immediate question that comes to mind is how is this man able to keep his pillow so immaculately clean? I mean they ARE married, right?

Maybe she doesn't put out.