Man Throws TV At Girlfriend After A Threesome
A 22 year old man and his wife planned a threesome, because why the hell not? Jorge Silva and his wife were getting down to it with another woman when Silva's wife said he "freaked out". What brought on this rage? Well, according to Mrs. Silva it was when she started kissing the other woman, when she started getting into it with the "third" in their threesome (who was a woman), out of nowhere, all of a sudden, her husband started hitting her.
Apparently this guy didn't understand the concept of a threesome when he asked for it, kind of like when you order something you've never had at a new restaurant and it comes with everything you hate. Most likely, though, this guy is just a complete idiot. Look at his face. Nothing about his face says "I understand things".
The wife and the other woman ran to the bathroom and locked themsevles inside and Silva busted through the door and continued wailing on her, horrifyingly. The wife curled up to avoid getting hit into what is refered to as "the turtle" in hockey and Silva contiued to punch her, then he went that extra step from creepy, twisted piece of garbage domestic abuser into absolutely batsh*t insane. He then "swung the TV at her like a bat," according to the other woman. Silva hit her twice with the TV before dropping it on her, then grabbed a second TV set (they had two TVs!) and threw it at her, according to the report. How many TV's does this guy have laying around that he can just destroy two of them?
The other woman said she tried to break it up, but that Silva would punch her when she did. When deputies arrived they found Silva's wife covered in blood, her face swollen and sporting what looked like a broken nose.
The worst part is Silva's explanation: he told deputies his wife had attacked him after she kissed the other woman, because girl on girl kissing turns a female crazy? Then he said he became jealous after the women started kissing and wouldn't let him in on it, also probably stating that he "felt lonely and stuff" after courteously setting down his pacifier long enough to have an adult conversation.
He also said he knocked down the bedroom door because he thought the two were having sex without him, which, as we all know, makes it legal okay to basically go all The Shining on your girlfriend.Getting a threesome with another girl and your girlfriend, then getting so mad that you throw a TV at your girlfriend is like winning the lottery and getting pissed about the taxes, and then getting so mad you throw a TV at your girlfriend.
Man Dies After A 12-Hour Threesome
THIS is the way to go out.
Sergey Tuganov of Moscow won a $5,000 bet -- that in and of itself is pretty impressive, but it gets better... the bet was a 12 hour sex bet. With two women. That's right, two women bet the 28 year old mechanic/tactical genius of the Russian language that he couldn't satisfy them both for 12 hours straight.
Tuganov accepted the challenge as soon as he realized he was actually living in reality and won the bet, after a marathon session of having sex with two girls at the same time.
Seriously, a few minutes after crossing the 12 hour mark, with the money in hand the 28-year-old dropped dead from a heart attack, according to police. Emergency services were called, but by the time they arrived, it was too late.
Tuganov used Viagra to help his cause and that is said to be a factor in his heart-attack -- too many blue pills. It says right on the box your erection shouldn't last 4 hours let alone 3 times that amount! The women said he popped an entire bottle and also ate walnuts and cream, which is considered to have a natural aphrodisiac.
Take note gentlemen, walnuts and cream.
Anyway, this guy went out with the best story anyone has ever heard when it comes to dying. His life wasn't going to top that anyway and if I were him I would've checked out as well. Here's to one of the greatest men who ever lived.Source
Man Throws Cat Off Balcony After Having Sex With It
Police were called to an apartment building when neighbors saw a man across the street, pants around his ankles, chucking a cat off a 7 story balcony. The cops arrived and found a gray cat near the sidewalk barely breathing and bleeding. The cat later died of natural causes not related to its inevitable shame.
The police went up to the suspected apartment where the man opened the door, pants still down around his ankles which kind of gave it away immediately. The police then asked him to pull his pants up and tell them about the cat. The 29 year old man said he was smoking meth but didn't have a cat.
The perfect crime.
When pushed he said it was his boyfriend that threw the cat. Police arrested him and neighbors identified him as the cat thrower.
The man, who is identified as Gerardo Martinez, told police "that's not my pet. I was just trying to have sex with it!"Source
Man Bites Boyfriend After Online Threesome
Englishman Frazer Bradley and his boyfriend Wayne Jordan met a man online and invited him over to have a threesome (because that's not a way to get eaten alive by internet Germans). After the two finished the threesome, Frazer said his boyfriend Jordan "flipped" after binge drinking two and a half liters of cider, which shows you clearly that British people know how to party!
Frazer began sending Wayne text messages from another room calling him a "slag" (which is Brit speak for "s**t") and said he was going to leave him and no longer loved him. Then he sent a text that said "go die". Frazer said he did all this because he thought the relationship was over, but they have since reconciled.
Bradley said "Frazer came downstairs and started abusing me again—he pulled at my necklace. I could see the anger in his face. Frazer grabbed a vase and smashed it against the wall.
"I thought he was going to cut me. I said: 'Don't be stupid,' so he bit my cheek and pushed me back onto the settee[?]. He still had his teeth clamped, so I thought he was going to bite my cheek off. Then he punched me in the mouth."
After the attack, Jordan allegedly acted "completely oblivious" and said he couldn't remember why the two had started arguing, proving what I've been trying to illustrate to all my guy friends up to this point: CIDER CAN F*CK YOU UP.
Frazer admitted to assault occasioning actual bodily harm, and was made to pay £85 (about $133) in fines and was given a six month supervision order.
The judge said she did not consider awarding the victim compensation to be relevant since the couple are cohabiting which means that, sadly, nobody will probably be replacing that vase.Source