Masturbate Whenever You Want
You've got nowhere to go, and if you're lucky, your neighbors might not know how to password protect their Wi-Fi. There are millions of GigaBytes of free porn out there on millions of sites, so take this time to get to know them better and see if you can set a new personal record in a 24 hour period. Just remember to stock up on hand lotion so you don't start a fire, and switch hands every once in a while. Then you can brag to people about your new personal record at parties."8!"
Guilt Free Hangovers
Reaquaint With Old Friends
With all this free time you have now, you are free to look old friends up on Facebook and see what they're up to. It will probably go something like this:
A: Hey dude, what's up?
B: Wow, how long's it been, like five, six years?
A: Yeah, I guess. What you been up to? Where are you living right now?
B: Well, I'm living in Denver now with Marcy, but we both just got laid off so we had to sell the place and move into our car. You?
A: I did have a great job up until three months ago when the company went under and I lost all my 401K. I moved back in with my parents.
B: This may seem a little weird, but can I borrow some money?
A: I was going to ask you the same question.