No One Has Ever Once Sat That WayPhoto: Rob Liefeld / Awesome
Wow. There's just so much to unpack here. First of all, this woman should never have kids. Ever. Her pelvis is clearly designed to show maximum butt and codpiece, and not much else. Second, what's going on with that impaled head in the background? I get that it's supposed to be intimidating, but how is it staying up? The mouth isn't pierced at all. Is it taped on to the pointy stick?
At least the lack of a seat back is excusable, as this woman clearly lacks a spine, as do all Liefeldian females.18544Is this the worst?
CodpiecesPhoto: Rob Liefeld / Marvel Comics
This was a variant cover, so maybe I shouldn't count it... but he drew it with the intent of it being a cover, sooo... fair game. I really am only including it because 1) new way to hide hands and 2) are those codpieces? On women? Or maybe they are built in maxi-pad holders?PS. Those boobs are seriously freaking me out.366160Is this the worst?
Armpit of DespairPhoto: Rob Liefeld / Marvel ComicsOh dear. First ... no hands, no feet. Check. Second... what? What am I looking at? I didn't read this series so I don't know ... is that a robot? With one leg? Or maybe... are those metal panties? Why is there a black hole coming out of the red-haired woman's armpit? Oh my god, her legs have been cut off at the knees! No wonder she's so upset.309135Is this the worst?
Put It In PerspectivePhoto: Rob Liefeld / Image
Ok, wow. So the guy in the front is smaller than the guy in back, see? Because that's how you know that things are farther... no wait. That's how you know when things are in the foregr.... no wait. Ok, maybe the guy in back is just super super huge, right? I mean, I never read this comic, so who knows? He's, like, Sentinel sized, ok? So proportion aside, let's talk about the little hunchy one in front.Barring the fact that he looks like he's about to have his diaper changed... his outfit is really pretty amazing. He has what appears to be metal suspenders, which is a nice touch. And some red... let's just guess pouches, around each of his tubular thighs. Hey, headband! Moon boots! Also, the clenched teeth and the imminent aneurysm are both present here... but mostly I would like to admire all the extra muscles this dude has in his arms. I don't know if you know this, but more arm muscles -- as in like 12 extra ones that humans don't have, not bigger ones that humans DO have -- means you are extra badass.24799Is this the worst?
Is this too easy? Probably. I know better people than I have made their own Liefeld Lists of Pouches and Swords (notably: Progressive Boink) but I think I have a few he missed... plus, it's never a bad thing to collect this much awesome into one place. Imagine if Rob had taken a few anatomy classes? Or maybe even a drawing class or two? Where would we be? We wouldn't have the Honorable Mention on this list, that's for sure. And that's not a world I want to live in.