John Mayer Recalls His 'Sexual Napalm' with Jessica Simpson
John Mayer: professional singer/songwriter, womanizer and all-around douchebag.
Seriously, who hasn't this dude banged? And for looking like the weird dude in your Chem lab, he has gotten with some of the hottest ladies in Hollywood...Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz and Jessica Simpson. He makes your track record look like the contestants from the first season of 'Flavor of Love.'
Sources say that when his man-junk gets near your lady bits, you instantly learn the secret location of Atlantis.
In a 2010 Playboy interview, the Hollywood Sex King went over and beyond his normal candor to reveal such gems as, "My biggest dream is to write p*********y." And, "My dick is sort of like a white supremacist."
But it was his reveal of former love Jessica Simpson's bedroom prowess that had jaws dropping, "That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm..."
"There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, "I want to quit my life and just f*ckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*ck you, I would start selling all my s**t just to keep f*cking you."
Yes, Jessica Simpson. I mean sure, the girl can look smoking hot, but she also famously remained a virgin until her wedding to Nick Lachey, so she either must be a natural sex machine or she did some serious bedding post-divorce to make up for lost time or some training at a Karma Sutra ashram in India? Either way, the girl must be magic to have gotten Mayer's mushroom stamp of approval because hey, at the very least, he seems to know what he's talking about.
Thanks, Mayer for giving us the most intrusive, invasive and 100% douchiest thing said in all of 2010.
Brett Favre Admits to Lascivious Voicemails to Jenn Sterger
The dude's a grandpa who has almost-retired from professional football about 34 times now. How can anything involving Brett Favre possibly interest us at all?
Well, he can text pics of his Wrangler jeans pocket monster to an insanely attractive and well-known (if she wasn't before she is now) sports reporter Jenn Sterger.
Brett hasn't officially taken credit for his special friend's camera debut, but he has copped to leaving naughty voicemails on Jennifer Sterger's cell phone repeatedly asking her to come to his hotel room and that he "really would like to see her." Pretty much everyone is assuming, at this point, that he didn't want to have a serious talk with her, or that there would be any talking involved at all.
Sterger, a former New York Jets employee, said that GrandPap Favre sent her multiple pictures of his wang (which is the medical term for that) and left her inappropriately suggestive voicemails.The NFL has fined Favre $50,000 for failing to cooperate with their investigation. They have decided not to suspend him or fine him additionally because it cannot be proved that the peen actually belongs to Favre.
Lindsay Lohan Drunk Tweets About Failed Drug Test
Amidst all of her court dates, losing her passport, partying the nights away and being cast to play a porn star who banged a dog, Lindsay Lohan was ordered to submit to random drug testing.
This September, Lindsay failed one of her random tests, rumor has it, testing positive for cocaine. Like anyone with that much money, she took to her Twitter to inform her loyal fans. Lindsay wrote, "Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test."
The cat was out of the bag. But, as with any great LiLo story, we're not quite done.
A witness later told 'UsWeekly' that Lindsay had drunkenly twittered her confession while slamming back Jack and Cokes with friends at a restaurant.Oh so close my love, but no blow-laced cigar!
Lady Gaga Casually Drops That She Does Blow
For all she did in 2009, Lady Gaga kicked 2010's ass. From her meat dress to her naked ass showing up just about everywhere, the world's magazine racks were covered with Gaga's glitz.
For its September issue, Vanity Fair put a naked Lady Gaga on its cover and quite a revealing interview in its pages. Gaga spoke about the cliche sex, drugs and rock 'n roll, but in a very Gaga fashion saying things like she feels that if she sleeps with someone that "... they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina."
But the part of the interview that got the most press was her admission to drug use (shocking, right...), specifically cocaine. Gaga said, "I won't lie; it's occasional," clearly trying to downplay any possible Lindsay-blow-status, but not denying any 'occasional' experimentation.
The 'oh shucks' way that she said the whole thing is what stuck with people since she not only strives to be such a huge role model, but also a well-respected artist that's different than anyone you've ever heard of. The apple doesn't far from the gilded Hollywood tree.