Unspeakable Crimes The Top Crimes Committed By Guys in Santa Suits  

Beau Iverson
53.5k views 17 items

'Tis the season to be jolly - or, if you're one of these naughty St. Nicks, greedy, lecherous and absolutely, undeniably unfit to set foot in public. Sometimes, Santa goes bad in the most disturbing way possible, so we've put together a list of the most horrible crimes committed by guys dressed in Santa suits. In honor of the holiday season, here are thirteen bank robbing, mall-flashing Santa Clauses that definitely made the naughty list.

What are the top crimes committed by guys in Santa suits? It seems like some of these dudes didn't learn any lessons from the epic Christmas movie Bad Santa, because none of these red-suited perpetrators were very slick in committing these crimes. Some of these Santas are badasses, but others are just run-of-the-mill crooks.  

Santa with Sunglasses Successfully Robs a Bank

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Video: YouTube

Witnesses were shocked when a man dressed in a full Santa suit - including the beard, the belly, the hat, and a pair of black Raybans - pulled a gun out of his present sack and demanded money from a teller.  

Several people at the scene said that he was jolly and jovial the entire time, and remained completely in character as Santa. He even told bank patrons that he was just getting some money out to "pay his elves."  How fun!

It got serious when "Santa" said that he would return to the bank and kill everyone in sight if it turned out that there were dye packs in the stolen money. 

Though that has nothing when compared to this insane crime.

Child Molester Mall Santa Stalks Kids on the Internet

Child Molester Mall Santa Stal... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Top Crimes Committed By Guys in Santa Suits
Photo: via Pinterest

If Dateline NBC's To Catch A Predator had a Christmas episode, this guy could've been the star.

Here's what happened: Some creep named James Grey Daniel went on Yahoo Instant Messenger, and solicited a 13-year-old girl for sex. When he arrived at the pre-arranged meeting spot in Mayflower, AK, the police were there, waiting to sting him.

In court, he revealed that he had actually worked as a mall Santa for the past several years, meaning that many children had already sat on his lecherous lap and told him what they wanted for Christmas.

Santa's lap will never feel safe again.


Santa Attacks a 74-Year-Old Woman with a 2x4

Santa Attacks a 74-Year-Old Wo... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Top Crimes Committed By Guys in Santa Suits
Photo: via Pinterest

"Peace on earth" and "Goodwill towards men," were not phrases in this mall Santa's vocabulary when he attacked a 74-year-old woman with a 2x4 outside of a shopping center in Hartford, CT.  

Allegedly, the elderly woman had stolen a few boxes of Hershey's Kisses from Santa, who promptly chased her and smacked her right in the face with a large plank of wood. Police could find no evidence that the woman had robbed him, and charged Santa with aggravated assault. 


Man in Santa Suit Flashes Teens His Twig n' Holly Berries

Man in Santa Suit Flashes Teen... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Top Crimes Committed By Guys in Santa Suits
Photo: via Twitter

Santa Claus strikes again, and this time, he's a streaker. At the Rockingham Park Mall in MA, Santa was arrested for showing off his jingle bells to a couple of unwitting teenagers. The creepiest part was that he wasn't even a mall Santa; just a guy in Santa suit looking to put his Little Drummer Boy on display.