Old men are a dying breed. And one of the most noteworthy things about some of the most badass old men in Internet and crazy news report history is that they don't take no sh*t. So, here are eight stories (and videos, when available) of old guys getting revenge on people either trying to screw with them or people who are just being horrible members of society. You can get away with anything if you're old, even being an awesome vigilante for truth, justice, and minding your f*cking manners.Who are the eight grumpy old men who channeled Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino? There are a few good ones on here, and their antics may make you laugh or cringe, especially since they were handled in public like they were.
Old Man Shows a Surly Guido Some Manners
People pay a lot of money for seats at the U.S. Open, and some people even have money riding on the game, and sometimes, like in the case of this young Guido, that gives them a sense of entitlement.
Take, for instance, this douche who forced a 75-year-old man out of his seat at a September 2010 match.
During the eighth game of the first set at the Arthur Ashe Stadium, a young fan was being obnoxious and though dozens of people were muttering and telling him to shut up, it took an old courageous man to stand up, grab the young whipper snapper, and hit the guy in face to calm him down. Spare the rod, spoil the supposed-adult.
With people screaming in the background, the embedded video shows the man and boy toppling down some rows and security rushing to the scene. Then, all the so-called "men" come running in and beating the kid up.
Yeah, great timing guys. Had to get a grandpa all worked up and injured before giving yourselves the green light? P*ssies.
The old man, his daughter (who argued and slapped the boy during their altercation, which is awesome) and the rude fan were all handcuffed and taken off the premises. Later it was reported that the old man was seen sitting in a wheelchair while being interviewed by NYPD policemen.
Old dudes don't give a f*ck. They go down fighting like Jean Claude Van Damme.BEST PART: The cocky kid says "what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? I could take twenty of those!" when apparently he couldn't even take one.
Old Man Throws Poop at Lady Who Doesn't Pick Up After Her Dog
This guy was sick of this woman's sh*t.
Sometimes, the only way to get your point across is to fling some poop at someone's face.
That's exactly what one old Polish man did when a woman did not pick up after her pooch, which really, is just common courtesy and, in some places, the law. So he decided to fight back for great justice, for society, and for anyone who's ever been happily walking down the street or on their way to a party and then accidentally stepped in some inconsiderate jerk's dog poop.
Some spectators recorded the man confronting the woman on the street, steadily walking towards her with each raging insult. He points to the poop and then walks over to it, picks it up, and throws it at the woman.
Meanwhile, the woman is wildly flailing her arms in the air, trying to block the poop flying her way instead of running (which really, doesn't occur to as many people as it should in these situations.)
The man decides to attack her again and picks up the poop a second time and flings it right at her successfully. All this is done in a hilariously slow tempo, with the woman backing away in small steps and the man inching his way forward.In the end, the woman not only gets publicly humiliated, but she steps on the dirty mound afterwards too. See her misstep at 0:23. Ultimate. Defeat.
Guy Taunts Old Man, Old Man Takes High Road, Then OWNS
A sprightly young guy thinks he's the sh*t, sees an old guy and starts taunting him. If this were a horror movie, the old guy would be a secret demon-thing, and this guy would be dead before the opening credits even rolled. After a bit, this young piece of crap actually goes up to the old man, shakes him, and even tries punching him.
With the Shaolin patience of a monk, the old man fixes his hat.
... And then accepts the moron's challenge.
They both get their 20s style boxing fisticuffs out, but it's really no match. Even with his throat clenched, the old man socks the young dude in the face and brings him to the ground.The best part is when the old man goes up to the guy on the ground, pretends to check up on him and *bam* finishes him off Mortal Kombat style. We always knew Fujin was the best player of the game to begin with.
The Epic Tale of Epic Beard Man
Tom Slicks, or Thomas Bruso, is regarded as a hero for standing up for himself on an AC Transit Bus.
He was an Internet sensation in 2009, and he did fight back after wrongfully being called a racist on a crowded bus.
The 67-year-old man was accused of racism when an young African American overheard him saying he was going to have someone shine his shoes. The young African American man automatically assumed Slicks was talking about a black person and got defensive to the point of being violently confrontational.
At the same time, Bruso also got defensive, claiming that he wasn't being race-specific at all and didn't like the guy's hostile attitude.
When the guy threatened Slicks and pulled out a knife, well, things then got a bit crazy and Bruso, aka "Epic Beard Man," delivered the smackdown that made him Internet famous and gave him his nickname.
In the end, Bruso pounded the guy and he was left bleeding on the bus floor. Meanwhile, EBM was overtaken by the spirit of Hulk Hogan himself and continued to be epic, screaming at the top of his lungs and breathing fire through his nostrils. He later rode a dragon to safety. Okay, part of that didn't actually happen.
Anyway, it turns out the guy is kind of a tragic, and somewhat inspiring figure. He inspires you to want to be a better person, to appreciate your life for what it is and to thank your lucky stars that you're not him.
Here's a documentary on the man where they go deep into his history with his father and how he was beaten as a child. His mother was sent to a mental ward after putting him in the oven when he was just an Epic Beard Toddler and his father got custody. After that he fought his entire life, got kicked out of school, went from school to school, landed in a psych ward alongside Ed Gein (the real-life Leatherface), and eventually joined the army.
He's a man who has led an epic life, so the fact that he took all that history and wanted to keep himself composed until he was absolutely provoked, is actually quite admirable.
Here's the short documentary on Epic Beard Man called, fittingly, "I Am A Motherf*cker" (after what it said on the back of his shirt during the original bus incident and yes, he was wearing a shirt with those words written on it... the other guy should've known you don't f*ck with guys who wear shirts like that.)