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gross The Top 9 People Who Obliviously Mistake Things for Toilets  

Autumn Spragg
32.4k views 9 items
From convenience stores, to pantry cupboards, and beyond, here are 9 glorious examples of people who have partaken in the strange and smelly cocktail of obliviousness and biological functioning and found themselves unable to distinguish ordinary places from restrooms. Each item on this list is more head-shaking than the last, so be sure to read every item and watch every video, especially if your opinion of the human race has been a little high lately and needs to be taken down a few notches. This list is perfect for that.
1

Drunk Tyler Pees on Clothes, Shames Dog



Poor Tyler. He evidently had a great night last night, and now his heart is circulating wine coolers throughout his body. It sounds awesome, until the time comes to drain the lizard.

0:01 An onlooker is already shouting, "This cannot be happening in our new house!" As Tyler is standing in front of his closet over a pile of clothes holding his noodle.

It appears Tyler is already in the act by 0:05 and the guy filming can only question, "Why you f***ing peein’ Tyler??" While telling him to look at the camera.

0:16-0:32 Tyler’s expression is priceless as he climbs into bed. He’s not ashamed or embarrassed of himself at all, he almost seems embarrassed for everyone else in the room, like they’re trying to pull a prank but he’s outsmarted them some how. He pushes a frightened and undoubtedly ashamed Basset Hound (I mean, even dogs pee outside) out of the way and shakes his head at his foolish friends. "I ain’t that f***ed up." Tyler says, even though everyone has just witnessed him pissing all over his clothes.

0:33-0:40 His friend again begs the question, "Why’d you f***ing pee in the corner, dog?" And then proceeds to tell him what he peed on was white and worth $500.

0:47 After confirming that Tyler did in fact pee "on the f***ing pile of f***ing clothes and the f***ing floor," a girl in the background muses that it‘s not so bad. "It’s ok. I peed on Ben." And suddenly Tyler doesn't seem so bad.
2

Girl in Bikini Pees in Convenience Store Without Missing Phone Call


Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

This woman is simply amazing. While casually checking her cell phone in a convenience store, she suddenly puts down her items and drops her bikini bottoms right between the snack cakes and Arizona Iced Teas.

0:05-0:15 She gives a quick glance down the aisles mid pee, just to make sure no one will interrupt the phone call she’s about to receive.

0:16-0:23 Her business done, she picks up her things and begins chatting on her phone, happy as an inappropriately urine expelling clam. What’s truly disturbing is she did so without even a courtesy "Slippery When Wet" sign.
3

That's Not a Bathroom, Sir. That's a Pantry.


This video starts off promising with a closed door, a giddy observer flicking a lightswitch, and the phrase, "Randall, that is not a bathroom, sir. That‘s the pantry." Although, I have to admit, I’m a little perplexed when the guy filming goes on to explain, "That’s where people keep their sh*t." Well no wonder poor Randall was confused! He thought people sh*t in there!

0:14 The gravity of the situation as well as Randall’s pee sink in with an "Oh my God, Randall. Are you serious?"

A close-up reveals Randall, pants-less, gripping the canned food shelf for support. "Randall, that is not the bathroom, man. That is totally not the bathroom. You are pissing in their pantry. I’m pretty sure you’re pissing on…on dog food?"

0:49 On hearing this, Randall glances back and still has no idea where the hell he’s been peeing. After more sage advice from his friend, "You probably want to pull your pants up there, chief," the pantry door closes, and Randall goes back to making his own unique blend of organic dog food.
4

Bus Station Pee Generates Excitement


In this clip, I’m kind of torn between who’s the bigger waste of human space, the drunk pissing in the garbage can, or the idiots so unbelievably excited to be able to capture this on video and post it on the internet. Seriously, these guys are one disturbing act away from a "double rainbow" moment.

For the first 25 seconds, the people watching are choreographing the drunk guy’s stumbles, trying to predict his sways. I’d like to point out this is in a crowded bus station, where one wrong move could send the man or someone in his path directly under the wheels of a 10 ton murder mobile. At 0:29, the drunk demonstrates the likelihood of such an event by crashing into a woman a few feet away.

After a slow motion recap, the extremely delighted guy behind the camera laughs and declares, "I’m putting that on YouTube. F*** yeah, son!" When at 1:01 it appears at though public urination is about to take place, the people watching are beside themselves with a mixture of disgust, disbelief and unparalleled joy.

The man shooting the video now comes off more perverted than even the most seasoned of casting couch directors, "Shut up. Can you zoom in on this? Yeah, buddy. Show me your penis. Show me your pee-pee. That’s right. Yeah!" After a few superficial "Oh no, don’t do it"s, the guy holding the camera is now upset that he can’t see every detail of the drunk’s shame as people are passing in front of his line of sight. Don‘t these people realize there’s important filming taking place? "Hey, emo lady, get out of the way."

Even when the drunk is finished emptying his bladder at 1:33, the peeping tom cannot contain his enthusiasm. "Yeah, zip your pants up buddy. That’s right! Yeeeaaaahhhhh. Can you zoom in on that? Oh, you’re DEFINITELY sending me that video. I’m putting that sh*t up on YouTube. Oh, look at that sexy bitch over there." A star, and possibly a serial rapist, are born.