Giant tablets! Toddlers hit in the face! Geraldo selfies! A complete lack of understanding simple political concepts! Using the word "Muslim" in a derogatory fashion! Fox News ain't gonna disappoint you, and we've culled the underbelly of the Internet for the very best of the worst.
Producing 24 hours of non-stop cable news that's only interrupted by Cash for Gold and Cialis commercials is hard, you guys. Sometimes things like journalistic integrity and, you know, facts, have to be thrown out. That's okay, right?
You may hate Fox News, but without it, what would Stephen Colbert make fun of? What would your conservative uncle post on his facebook? What would HBO's "The Newsroom" be about next season? What would be on this list?
We can't guarantee that this list of top fox news fails is fair and balanced, but that's why you are invited to vote up the top fails on your giant tablet newsroom computer thing.
Interviews Religious Scholar With a PhD, Asks Why a Muslim Wrote a Book About Jesus
If you tune into the Fox News program "Spirited Debate" for spirited debate, then you're probably often disappointed. You were especially disappointed when host Lauren Green had a "debate" with religious scholar Rezna Aslan, the writer of the book “Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth," who was introduced not as an expert with a PhD in the history of religions, but simply as a Muslim.As the interview falls deeper and deeper into a schadenfreude dreamscape, it becomes more and more apparent that host Green has done no research on Aslan, and she has definitely not read his book. Behind her eyes, you can see her scrambling for additional ways to ask the same question over and over again. We're all lucky that she never got to her final question, "So Mr. Aslan, how can someone named after the lion in those Narnia books--the lion based on Jesus--write a book about Jesus?"
Fox News Upgrades Its Newsroom With Giant Tablet Computers
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE! We're Fox News, we're fair and balanced, forget those other news networks, they're probably still using typewriters or computers or checking their sources or other old news stuff. WE'RE FOX NEWS! WE'RE THE FUTURE! Check out these giant tablet computers! They can each display up to one whole tweet at a time! All of our reporters look like tiny hobbit people next to these amazing news tablets!
Imagine Candy Crush on this thing! What's that? You don't have to imagine it because we already actually had a news story on the addictiveness of Candy Crush which we demonstrated on one of our giant tablets?
You're sure that's not a photoshopped image? That's a real news story we did on Candy Crush? Are we letting our Aunt Mildred write the news now? We are? Well, I mean, maybe that's the future! Tablets that only Shaq can comfortably use! Candy Crush! Aunt Mildred! Fox News!
Fox News Host Geraldo Rivera Tweets Topless Selfies
Okay, so this didn't actually happen on air, but in July, Fox News host Geraldo Rivera thought it was a good idea to take off his shirt (or maybe his shirt was already off?) snap a photo, and tweet it out to his nearly 50,000 followers. Unfortunately, tweets can be retweeted, and news stories can be written about tweets, and so by the end of the day we all had to see this photographic evidence of Geraldo's mid-life (three-quarters life?) crisis.It's looks like a mummy got really into P90x.
Fox News Host Brian Kilmeade Throws Basketball at Toddler's Face, Makes Him Cry
When you have a talented toddler who has taken the Internet by storm with a viral video of amazing(ly cute) free throws, you bring him onto your morning show and that's morning show gold. Unless, of course, your morning show host takes the kid's basketball and throws the ball at his face, making him cry. Then, well, you might have a different sort of viral video on your hands.
That's exactly what happened on Fox News.
If you'd like to wash the taste of that out of your eyeballs (when did your eyeballs start tasting?), watch young Titus' original viral video: