15 Tour Guides Reveal Their Weirdest Tourist Stories So You Don't Make The Same Mistakes

List Rules
Tourists and tour guides alike: vote up the stories with the most terrible tourists.

Have you ever taken a guided tour while traveling? Tour guides are a great resource for tourists, but they also have plenty of terrible tourist stories. If you want to avoid becoming one of these tour guide stories, read up and make sure you don't make the same mistakes as these travelers.

  • 1
    8 VOTES

    Two Teenagers Tried To Swim To Shore

    From Redditor u/el_schkwappo:

    About 15 years ago, I worked as a deckhand on a line of boats that took people out to Fort Sumter. The trip was about an hour each way. One day, we were about halfway there and two teenagers decided it would be fun to jump off and try to swim to shore.

    This is in Charleston Harbor, which has a pretty solid tidal current, lots of boat traffic, and probably more sharks than one would like to think about.

    We ended up having to perform a water rescue on them. Then continued on to the fort, with the Coast Guard coming and picking them up. All in all, an extreme act of stupidity.

    8 votes
  • 2
    7 VOTES

    Decided To Antagonize A Monkey

    From Redditor u/Calithileth:

    Used to be a tour guide at a primate sanctuary with a strict "no touching: policy. At the end of the tour, there's a suspension bridge. Tourists go first, the guide goes last, as per the rules. I always warn the tourists that the other side is the territory of a Hanuman langur and he doesn't f*ck around, keep your distance, etc. He doesn't attack people out of nowhere, but he likes showing his teeth and screaming, which scares tourists.

    Anyway, on one tour I get to the other side of the bridge, and a tourist got bitten. He says a monkey just bit him out of nowhere. Asked the other tourists, no he tried to f*cking pet the Hanuman. [Idiot] got what he deserved.

    7 votes
  • 3
    6 VOTES

    Someone Plucked Peacock Feathers

    From Redditor u/mugsandcoveve:

    I was working on a tourist island in Australia when this man pulled out almost all the back feathers of a peacock because he wanted to keep one. He sneaked up behind it, and grabbed a huge handful and yanked them all out. He was immediately escorted off the island. The peacock had a huge bare patch and most of its beautiful feathers were gone.

    6 votes
  • 4
    9 VOTES

    Didn't Listen To The Shark Feeding Instructions

    From Redditor u/SketchyMedicalAdvice:

    Tour guide/boat captain in the Caribbean.

    We had about 40/50 people on the boat, got off. We would normally go feed swimming pigs... someone would get nipped from... from doing stupid sh*t, but nothing too serious. Well, the next stop after that was another island where we would hand-feed turtles, sharks, and stingrays. So we would tell the people to hold it with the palm open and food in the middle for the stingrays, and they would come over the top and take it out. The turtles and the sharks put it in the water holding it by the tips, and when they are coming for it, let go.

    Well, of course, this dingus decided he would be tough and feed this baby shark, no longer than your forearm, without letting go. Shark proceeds to bite his fingers; he screams and jumps up out of the water and flicks it off of his hand, pulling one of his fingernails off in the process.

    So that's one I always remember.

    9 votes
  • 5
    8 VOTES

    A Kid Climbed Into The Field With Longhorn Oxen

    From Redditor u/Ptolemyshadow:

    I worked at a living history farm museum. I had a kid that was climbing on stuff the whole tour in the farmhouse and trying to get behind the smith in the blacksmith shop during a demo.

    After the tour when people are allowed to roam the grounds, I hear his mom screaming and look over to the barn and this kid has climbed the fence into the field with our longhorn oxen and is trying to poke them with a stick. I walk over and calmly told him to get out of the field before our lazy oxen (named Bill and Ted) decide they've had enough, but this jackoff decides to look me in the eye and smack Ted on the [butt] with the stick like it's a riding crop. Ted, bless him, just kinda jumps a little and whips his head around with a WTF dude look on his face. But seeing as he's a longhorn, he just wipes this kid out with one of his horns when he turned his head. Kid goes flying into the dirt and is having a meltdown. Mom is freaking out. I'm like, dude, get the hell out of the pen before Ted actually gets mad.

    So this kid is crying and trying to climb the fence out of the field, and Bill, who has been watching this whole thing, waits until the kid is almost over the fence and walks up to him and nudges him in the [butt] with his nose and pushes him off the top of the fence. It was everything I could do to keep from laughing.

    Kid was fine, Ted was fine, but the kid and his mom were promptly kicked out of the museum. Their dad and little sister were allowed to stay because she was well behaved and was just enjoying petting the goats at the petting zoo. So, since the kid had to leave but his sister didn't, there was a temper tantrum in the parking lot that could be heard all the way to the other side of the farm. But the oxen got some extra grain that night, so I guess they won in the end.

    8 votes
  • 6
    8 VOTES

    Dumped Human Ashes On Grapevines

    From Redditor u/Cheese_and_krakens:

    I used to do vineyard and garden tours for a pretty well-known winery. I had a lady ask to see any merlot vines we had, so I walked her over and she proceeded to dump ash all over them and yell, "We love you, Nana! Rest in peace!" Needless to say, you are not allowed to dump human remains on food goods.

    8 votes