15 People Tell Stories Of The Trashiest Weddings They've Ever Been To

From Redditor u/Yum_Waffles:

I'm a wedding videographer, so I've seen some things, and one moment from a 2018 wedding stands out.

The bride's dad gets up for his speech, where a 30-[minute]… speech plays out recounting embarrassing memories of the bride being generally unathletic, taking soccer balls to the face, etc. Truly cringe-inducing, and the bride was very uncomfortable. He then tells the audience a story of how he used to travel for work, and at the time the bride was obsessed with Disney (Pirates of the Caribbean) and would often make up her own "Disney" characters, one being a French-speaking "bird." She would make personalized cards with poorly drawn Jack Sparrow and fFrench bird characters and send them to various locations when he was away traveling for work. Cute story, but entirely inappropriate, and far too long for a wedding speech.

Finally, he raises his glass for the conclusion of his speech (thank God), and then suddenly, two D-list local actors from the local theater troupe come out from the back door of the venue. Dressed as, you guessed it, Jack Sparrow and a woman in a French hat with wings (our French bird character from earlier). They had "come to the wedding to deliver a card," but what plays out is a terribly acted story of how "Jack Sparrow" had gotten drunk on his journey to the venue, their ship had run aground, and he ditched the French bird lady (who's yelling in French - no one understands what she's saying). The bride is mortified, and the groom is mouthing the bride's mom to get her dad off the stage.

This back and forth between Jack Sparrow and the French bird goes on for about 10 minutes, with dad as the jovial in-between mediator (thinking he's nailing this "speech" the whole time). Finally, Jack Sparrow unfurls the "card" for the bride and groom, which is a giant poster with a picture of the bride and groom saying something along the lines of "best wishes." Everyone was stunned, and both the bride and groom were so upset. The father/daughter dance… was VERY uncomfortable afterward, and I got a video of the entire thing.

From Redditor u/HopelessEmu:

The wedding was in a suburban driveway. The maid of honor stole the bouquet from someone’s garden and the best man proudly announced he had shoplifted the rings. The groom wore a button-down shirt that said “f*ck off” in fancy lettering. The bride stopped in the middle of the vows to tell her mother to “get that f*cking kid out of here.” It was her second kid by the previous bloke.

When it was over, we apologized to the celebrant. He said he’d seen worse.

From a Redditor:

There were no tables and chairs. Like none. They had an open bar but no f*cking chairs. Everyone had to put their drink on the ground and hold their plate to eat. It was wild.

Everyone just assumed that some sort of terrible thing happened where people didn't bring them, but afterward I asked her (the bride) what happened and she just said: "Oh, we would have had to pay extra for that."

From Redditor u/TaintedTruth222:

I had one of my friends from high school get married in a trashy way. His fiancé at the time invited him to lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings and she had also invited the whole family (they were in on it). Once my friend showed up he found out it was a surprises wedding (just like you would do a surprise birthday party). The even trashier part is they didn't reserve the restaurant or anything, so in his wedding photos (standing in front of the bathrooms, by the way), you can see complete strangers coming out of the bathrooms.

From Redditor u/Shadow_Researcher:

Really old friend of my wife's. She hadn't seen her in years but was invited to her wedding.

The guy this chick was marrying was absolute "I Studied The Blade" levels of cringe.

He was shirtless, wore black jeans, and his arms were covered in barbwire tattoos and quotes that you'd find on those idiotic "bad*ss" skeleton memes where they claim they'll "f*ck you up if you hurt anyone I care about" kind of stuff.

It was quickly apparent my wife and I were the only ones in attendance that practiced normal human hygiene.

They were roasting what I thought was a suckling pig on a spit, but as it cooked, I noticed crap bubbling out of its rear end and its stomach was swelling.

I asked his best man if this was a properly slaughtered pig, and the best man proceeds to regale me with the tale of how he and the groom got sh*t-faced the night before, climbed into a nearby farm, and stole this pig. They put a bullet in the head and impaled it with a long piece of rebar, which upon closer inspection was what it was turning on.

Just so happens while we were discussing the groom's recent offense, the pig's stomach gave way. Blood, poop, and guts poured out in enough quantities to put out the fire.

My wife and I had already given each other the "yeah, time for us to GTFO of Dodge" look before this, but yeah, needless to say, we beelined for the car and left.

We later found out the cops showed up and apprehended the groom and his best man once the farmer they stole from realized one of his prized pigs was missing. The groom tried to fight the cops and got tased. He made it easy for them by already being shirtless.

From Redditor u/Butterbean-queen:

At a park. Pickup trucks with Igloo coolers opened on the tailgate was the bar. Everything was served in red solo cups BEFORE the wedding. Everyone got drunk.

The bride walked down the aisle drinking from a red Solo cup instead of holding a bouquet.

It was essentially a tailgate party with a preacher invited.