TV Characters TV Husbands You Never Realized Are Total Pieces Of Crap  

Evan Lambert
16.1k votes 3.6k voters 147.6k views 11 items

List Rules Vote up the sh*ttiest husbands.

Not every husband on TV is Phil Dunphy - hardworking, honest, and heartwarming. Sure, he's a goofball and he messes up, but he's a good guy at his core. But for every Phil Dunphy, there's a Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin waiting to sneeze Cheez-It dust into their collars and insult your outfit. What a lot of people don't realize is that there are actually quite a few lazy TV husbands on shows like the best sitcoms or the greatest television dramas

Some TV shows may have you fooled when it comes to crappy husbands. It may not have dawned on you that beneath those layers of humor or loving-but-empty words lies a self-serving dickhead. If you stop to think about it, you may realize that your favorite television husband is actually a total letdown. Check out the list below of TV husbands who are total deadbeats, and vote up the ones who are the biggest pieces of sh*t. 

Jefferson D'Arcy is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list TV Husbands You Never Realized Are Total Pieces Of Crap
Photo:  Columbia/Sony

Another paragon of sh*ttiness from Married... With Children, Jefferson D'Arcy is the no-good parasite living off Marcy Bundy's money after she divorces her husband. Jefferson never puts any real effort into making money, convincing himself that his duties in bed with Marcy are enough to get him by. Oh, and he's the reason Marcy has to change her name to Marcy D'Arcy. For that, he should be held accountable. 

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Tom Scavo is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list TV Husbands You Never Realized Are Total Pieces Of Crap
Photo: Metaweb (FB)/Public domain

Underneath his handsome, charming veneer, Tom Scavo is literally the worst. Due to societal pressure to have children, he uses guilt, manipulation, and constant begging to convince his wife, Lynette, to bear his kids, even though she never wanted any. This forces her to put her treasured career on hold while Tom goes out into the world and pursues his selfish dreams. Over the years, Tom forces Lynette to weather drunken escapades, a mid-life crisis, incessant begging, and countless bad jokes. 

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#19 on TV Husbands Whose Wives Should Have Divorced Them

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Al Bundy is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list TV Husbands You Never Realized Are Total Pieces Of Crap
Photo:  Columbia/Sony

Shoe salesman Al Bundy in Married... With Children gets by on his wit and loyalty, but man, does he have a lot to compensate for. At turns lazy, hateful, drunk, and uncivilized, Bundy makes life hell for wife Peggy, whom he at least partially blames for his failure to attend college. He is also so misanthropic that when his neighbors think he had died, they take to the streets to sing, "Ding Dong, the shoe man's dead." 

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Doug Heffernan is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list TV Husbands You Never Realized Are Total Pieces Of Crap
Photo:  Sony Pictures

By all accounts, Doug Hefferman in The King of Queens is a childish slacker. It's a widely accepted fact that his wife, Carrie, is a saint. But this show actually glosses over quite a bit of terribleness. Doug isn't just a slacker - he is also a liar and a cheater, and he doesn't even look good in a UPS truck driver uniform. Plus, whenever Doug does anything romantic, it is just so he can get something in return. For example, he takes his wife to a luxury spa, just so he could go on a weekend trip to Vegas. 

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#64 on The Funniest TV Characters of All Time

#37 on The Best TV Characters of the 1990s

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#28 on TV Husbands Whose Wives Should Have Divorced Them

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