TV Husbands You Never Realized Are Total Pieces Of Crap

List Rules
Vote up the sh*ttiest husbands.

Not every husband on TV is Phil Dunphy - hardworking, honest, and heartwarming. Sure, he's a goofball and he messes up, but he's a good guy at his core. But for every Phil Dunphy, there's a Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin waiting to sneeze Cheez-It dust into their collars and insult your outfit. What a lot of people don't realize is that there are actually quite a few lazy TV husbands on shows like the best sitcoms or the greatest television dramas

Some TV shows may have you fooled when it comes to crappy husbands. It may not have dawned on you that beneath those layers of humor or loving-but-empty words lies a self-serving dickhead. If you stop to think about it, you may realize that your favorite television husband is actually a total letdown. Check out the list below of TV husbands who are total deadbeats, and vote up the ones who are the biggest pieces of sh*t. 


  • Tom Scavo - Desperate Housewives
    Photo: Metaweb (FB) / Public domain

    Underneath his handsome, charming veneer, Tom Scavo is literally the worst. Due to societal pressure to have children, he uses guilt, manipulation, and constant begging to convince his wife, Lynette, to bear his kids, even though she never wanted any. This forces her to put her treasured career on hold while Tom goes out into the world and pursues his selfish dreams. Over the years, Tom forces Lynette to weather drunken escapades, a mid-life crisis, incessant begging, and countless bad jokes. 

  • Another paragon of sh*ttiness from Married... With Children, Jefferson D'Arcy is the no-good parasite living off Marcy Bundy's money after she divorces her husband. Jefferson never puts any real effort into making money, convincing himself that his duties in bed with Marcy are enough to get him by. Oh, and he's the reason Marcy has to change her name to Marcy D'Arcy. For that, he should be held accountable. 

  • By all accounts, Doug Hefferman in The King of Queens is a childish slacker. It's a widely accepted fact that his wife, Carrie, is a saint. But this show actually glosses over quite a bit of terribleness. Doug isn't just a slacker - he is also a liar and a cheater, and he doesn't even look good in a UPS truck driver uniform. Plus, whenever Doug does anything romantic, it is just so he can get something in return. For example, he takes his wife to a luxury spa, just so he could go on a weekend trip to Vegas. 

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    Jim - According To Jim

    Jim - According To Jim
    Photo: ABC

    Hopefully, the real-life Jim Belushi isn't this awful to people. Another variation on the "lazy, lying, cheater" trope, Jim spends most of his time getting his family into sh*t because of his own lazy attempts at making money. He also frequently goes behind his wife's back, like in the show's very first episode where he changes his daughter's school without telling her.