Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas Movie Quotes

"Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas" movie quotes bring the Madea series of films back for a holiday edition, the seventh in the Madea franchise. Written, directed, produced by and starring Tyler Perry, "Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas" opened in theaters on December 13, 2013.

In "Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas," the vindictive and ornery grandmother Mabel Simmons, AKA Madea (Tyler Perry), struggles at her retail jobs, first as a mall Santa lacking a certain amount of Christmas cheer then as a cashier who has no customer service skills. After Eileen (Anna Maria Horsford) learns that her daughter Lacey (Tika Sumpter) cannot visit for Christmas, Eileen bribes Madea to travel with her to visit Lacey instead.

Upon reaching Lacey's town, Eileen and Madea are surprised to learn that Lacey is living in an urban area with a white fellow, Conner (Eric Lively). The culture shock continues when Conner's parents (Larry the Cable Guy and Kathy Najimy) come to visit as well. This creates quite the tense and exhausting experience for all, Madea especially.

If the first six Madea movies were enough for you, check out other movies in theaters for the holidays such as "Saving Mr. Banks," "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug," "Inside Llewyn Davis," "Frozen," and "Don Jon."

1 19 VOTES

Two Rabbis and a Black Dude

Buddy: "Did you hear the one about the two rabbis and the black dude?"
Madea: "Did you hear the one about the stray bullet who killed the redneck for telling the story about the two rabbis and the black dude?"

Madea isn't interested in hearing the racial stereotypical jokes that Buddy is offering up. While a simple "no, thank you" would have sufficed, she takes her response to another level.

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2 50 VOTES

Virgin Mary

Madea: "Little baby Jesus was born to the virgin Mary… J Blige."

Though it's already well established that Madea does not work well with children, she is put in charge of a class of kids nonetheless. Her facts are nearly as bad as her attitude as she explains how Mary J. Blige was the virgin Mary.

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3 42 VOTES

Santa

Madea: "How you doing there? What can I get for you?"
Child: "Does Santa really work at the North Pole?"
Madea: "Uh no, he don't work. He lays on the couch and he drinks all day. He's trifling. I have to pay all the bills. He kinda like your mama, now bye. Next!"

Of all people who could be a great mall Santa, Madea proves that she is not one of them.

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4 22 VOTES

I'll Come Up There

Lacey: "Mom, I'm not going to be able to come home this year."
Eileen: "It's Christmas… I'll come up there. I'll ask your aunt Madea to come with me!"
…
Madea: "Your daughter is grown. Leave her alone."
Eileen: "I'll pay you."
Madea: "What time you want to leave?"

When Eileen learns that her daughter Lacey cannot come home for the holidays, she gets the idea to come to her instead. Eileen enlist Madea to go along on the trip, but Madea is only interested after money is offered.

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