• Graveyard Shift

Uber Drivers Confess The Darkest Secrets They've Overheard On The Job

List RulesVote up the craziest secrets Uber drivers learned from their passengers.

Uber drivers have become the new bartenders. Every one of their passengers, at any moment, could share a dark secret or anecdote. These drivers decided to describe the times they overheard or were flat-out told dark secrets while taking them to their destinations.

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  • 1

    His Passenger Was Having A "Going Away" Party

    From Redditor u/westport76:

    Former Uber driver here. Picked a girl up, a sweet girl from a bar on a Wednesday night - absolutely hammered, about 10:00 pm. She got into my car, apologized for being so drunk, and politely asked if we could just drive around a little while with the windows down.

    I was prepping for a cleaning fee, trying to drive and pull a vomit bag out of the glove box, but no, she just did that airplane thing with one hand out the backseat window. She asked me if I had ever thought about dying, to which I replied, "Yeah, I guess so."

    That's when she told me that she had cancer. It was in her brain, and it was too far gone to consider chemo. I remember my heart just pounding. She told me she was dying, and she was going to be okay. Tonight, she was celebrating with her work friends who threw her a going-away party. She told them she was taking a position abroad.

    "I just didn't tell them that abroad was heaven."

    Jesus. F*cking. Christ. I turned off my app and cried my a** all the way home.

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  • 2

    They Overheard A Dangerous Conversation

    From Redditor u/1_point_21_gigawatts:

    I once drove some well-dressed Russians in between bars on the west side of Chicago. I used to work for a Russian-owned cab company, and I understand a little Russian, and I heard two of them talking back and forth about something one of them was very anxious about. The phrases that jumped out at me were "This is [passing], this is serious," "Blood is on me," and "I'm not a bad man." The other guy was mainly just telling him to relax a lot, and telling him, "There are no fools here," or something along those lines.

    Upon dropping them off, like an idiot, I temporarily blanked that I had just heard parts of a seemingly harrowing conversation, and I said ["Good night" in Russian]. Only one of them heard me (the older guy telling his colleague to relax) and he just stared at me. Then he came around to my window while reaching into his coat pocket, which scared me sh*tless. He then pulled out a $100 and said (in English), "My friend, do we understand?"

    I just took it, shook my head in the affirmative, and drove off. I didn't take any rides for the rest of the night.

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  • 3

    He Had A Very Intense Passenger

    From Redditor u/Watchutu:

    So I picked up a guy in a suit at around 6:00 pm on Tuesday near Venice, CA. He told me to take him downtown, and per usual, I asked if he had a preferred route and he said, "No whatever is quickest." We get going, and the usual banter begins. "So how long have you been driving for Uber?" Me: "One year or so, it's a great job" He says, "Oh cool, where do you stay at?" I answer, "In the valley," and he says, "Oh nice, nice... So, how long have you been driving for Uber?" I paused and kind of half-smiled, thinking he was f*cking with me. He wasn't. So I answered verbatim, "One year or so, it's a great job." He goes, "Oh cool, where do you stay at?"....

    This repeated three more times before I finally answered it differently, saying, "I just started, it's not for me." And him again replying, "Oh cool, where do you stay at?" I answered one last time the original way, but then finally, silence. By this point, I was on the 10 highway, stuck in rush hour traffic. I look in my rearview, and he is rubbing his head and hair profusely, like someone going through withdrawals. He took his suit jacket off and looked severely uncomfortable. I dialed 9-1-1 on my phone in case sh*t went down. He then, out of nowhere, yells in a deeper voice than earlier, "F*CK!!!!!" I said, "Umm, sir, is everything alright?" And he goes, "WHERE ARE WE?"... I said, "Ummm on the 10 headed downtown, is that still okay?" He goes, "Yes." At this poin,t by the graces of the universe, we ended up moving pretty quickly through traffic. Then, right before we exit off the 10, two miles or so from his apartment, he yelled againu "WHERE ARE WE!?" I said, "Sir, we're almost to your house, is that still okay?" And he goes, "Yes, that's fine."

    Once we arrive, I pull up to drop him off, and he gathers his stuff, opens the door and looks back in at me before walking away and in the most genuine, kind way, says, "Have a great night! Watch out for [wild] people!"

    Honestly, one of the strangest, creepiest events ever. Subsequently, I bought a stun [device]/taser and luckily so, as this was just the beginning of several [wild] incidents. So damn glad I don't drive anymore.

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  • 4

    His Passenger Made Some Distressing Statements

    From Redditor u/asudan30:

    Drove Uber one night... It was pretty tame until I picked up two guys who wanted to go to a [gentleman's club] 40 miles away. As they requested an UberSelect fare, I was happy to drive that far ($80-$100). It took them 15 minutes to get ready and into the car, and they seemed cool, so I wasn't worried.

    As soon as we got on the freeway, the guy in the passenger seat started asking about Uber driving, and things got dark. After a few minutes, he started saying sh*t like, "What would you do if someone just grabbed the steering wheel and ran the car into the median?" and "Have you ever thought about what would happen if someone in the back seat tried to [harm] you while you were driving?" I got a little freaked out and tried to lighten the mood by asking what they were celebrating, etc., but the one guy just kept at it.

    I was happy to get to the [gentleman's club] and get them the hell out of the car. Bonus was the bouncer at the club gave me $40 for dropping them off there. I never drove Uber again. 

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