Super-Franchise MeLists that rank the best and worst film series, sequels, prequels, threequels, and other ways movie studios chew up and regurgitate good ideas to squeeze out every last dignity-free penny.
Vote up the gritty reboots that really didn't need to be made.
The remake trend of the last few decades has paved the way for the rise of unnecessary gritty reboots. These reboots typically take happy and light franchises and ask the question: What if instead of filling people with joy, these films made people existentially sad? It's a simple formula, really. A director takes a beloved character from the past and ages them up, or applies real-life rules to their unrealistic lives, or decides that they kill people now. This radically new way of seeing the character is eye-catching, so audiences flock to the theaters. In doing so, executives make more money and greenlight more gritty remakes.
The best of these gritty remakes ask (and answer) an interesting question about the human experience by way of using an established IP. The worst gritty remakes suck all the fun out of the property while somehow failing to make this new bummer of a film interesting in any way. Sadly, a lot more of these gritty remakes have been the latter. From the big screen to the small screen, these are the gritty reboots that really didn't need so much grit.
Prior to Tom Cruise's take on The Mummy, the most recent incarnation had been the popular campy franchise starring Brendan Fraser. With Fraser as a leading man, the tone of the films was fun and funny. Sure, a mummy was trying to take over the world, but there were plenty of smiles along the way.
Every shot of 2017's The Mummy is grayer and more washed-out than its predecessors. The mummy is a little bit scarier, and things work out a little less well. Cruise's love interest doesn't even make it out of the film alive, which should give some idea as to the departure in tone from the Fraser version of The Mummy.
The 2015 take on Marvel's first family is odd, to say the least. In general, these characters are known as adventurers, and their cheerful adventures sprawl out across the galaxy. The 2005 version features plenty of laughs to accompany its more dramatic moments, but those laughs are largely absent in the 2015 version.
In the comics, when the Fantastic Four discover that an accident has given them incredible powers, they basically immediately set off bettering the world. In the 2015 film, Johnny, Ben, and Susan are forced into working for the government while Reed is on the run for a year. Not exactly a cheery origin story.
The film was basically universally mocked, only earning a 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. CBR described the director's version of the gritty reboot as "caking the whole film in grey and directing his actors to speak in a monotone."
The 2016 remake of Ben-Hur was not a well-received film. Creating 1959's Best Picture-winning Ben-Hur - not to mention its 1925 silent predecessor - was a massive undertaking. It was the most expensive movie ever at the time, and employed hundreds in its creations. That amount of work really showed, too, and the film earned rave reviews and classic status.
Sadly, years later, the majesty of that Ben-Hur was replaced with special effects and CGI that didn't conjure up the same sense of wonder. The Guardian stated, "This dull, clunking return to one of cinema's great warhorses lacks all the subtlety, passion and grandeur of its more illustrious predecessors."
The increased edginess of the adaption comes through in scenes like the famed chariot race, which The New York Times described thusly: "As bodies are trampled and dragged on the track, and squealing horses topple in clouds of dust amid the deafening clamor of amplified hoofbeats, the 10-minute scene powerfully captures the savagery of life-or-death spectacle and the delirium of a mob swooning with blood lust."
In Point Break, Johnny Utah, an FBI agent, infiltrates a group of surfing bank robbers. In the 2015 reboot, these robbers do a lot more than surf. In an attempt to add more action and excitement to the film, the crew is trying to perform the Ozaki 8 (a series of action sports challenges taking place around the world) and are robbing banks along the way. Similar setup to the surfing-and-robbing scenario the original offered, but deliberately more "extreme." Instead of a silly ex-football player learning to surf, the film follows an ex-action sports star climbing, snowboarding, surfing, and dirt biking his way across the world.
Sadly, this film thought it could replace genuine heart and lighthearted beach-bro charm with more set pieces and more action. It was sorely mistaken. The Guardian called the film a "pointless remake, stuffed with humorless and self-important machismo."
Miami Vice, the television show, is primarily remembered for its sense of style. Two cops, one of whom dons a casual white suit, patrolling Miami beaches, has become an iconic part of our collective consciousness, at least when it comes to our view of the 1980s. It was, first and foremost, an incredibly cool show.
The Guardian said about the film version, "Unlike the TV series, Miami Vice takes itself too seriously to be trashy - and too seriously to be much fun either." The new film didn't have the fun, style, or chemistry between costars that the original brought to the table. Instead, this film is a darker adaption in which the duo goes undercover to stop a Colombian drug cartel.
Archie and friends have been a spinner-rack mainstay for as long as anyone alive can remember. The comics featured the characters navigating life in high school. Betty and Veronica would fight over Archie, and Jughead would eat cheeseburgers. That was basically it. It was good, light fun.
Riverdale took these characters and flipped them on their heads. The moody CW drama announced how different this world would be immediately, as the high school Archie was shown having an affair with one of his teachers, and Cheryl Blossom's twin perished - all in the first episode. From there, the show has only gotten more insane. The kids have found themselves wrapped up in solving serial killer cases, joining gangs, and getting sent to prison. The show remains campy, though, and never takes itself too seriously, allowing it to garner a legion of fans that are in on the joke of it all. The series has garnered some acclaim, though no one asked for an edgy update to Archie in the first place.
