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The Most Useless Super Powers in Comics 

Ranker Comics
6.7k votes 941 voters 69.1k views 12 items

List Rules Comic book superpowers that are the most useless.

The best superheroes have an ability that would work in the real world; powers like flying, telepathy, and heightened senses are perfect and enviable. How bad do you want to skip the TSA line and fly to Europe for a long weekend? Or use your telekinetic abilities to shoot mind knives at your enemies? Or use your ice powers to help solve global warming (we’re not actually sure how global warming works)? Now those are powers that we can get behind. The abilities on this list certainly aren’t anything that you would want to have in the real world, and, even if you had them, you wouldn’t be able to do anything with them.

The power to speak to squirrels, turning into a rock, and housing two large maggots in your stomach that help you dissolve any type of matter you might encounter – these are the types of unrealistic superpowers we’re talking about on this list. The abilities that are only helpful when you live in a comic book and can get by being the third guy on a team who can transport minor distances. We’re not saying these characters are a waste of space, but they definitely aren’t the most useful cards in the deck.

Put your amazing voting ability to good use and let us know which character you think has the most useless super power, then call upon the amazing vocal prowess that you’ve gained from earth’s yellow sun and take to the comments to let us know if we’ve missed any lame mutants or metahumans.
Squirrel Girl is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Most Useless Super Powers in Comics
Photo:  The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Vol. 3: Squirrel, You Really Got Me Now/Marvel
Squirrel Girl's ability to communicate with squirrels could land her a rad job as a groundskeeper, stay in the comics Squirrel Girl. 
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Nite Owl is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Most Useless Super Powers in Comics
Photo:  Watchmen/DC Comics
Nite Owl doesn't have any real powers to speak of (beyond have a big fat bank account), but all of his super hero gear is owl themed and terrible. Ain't nobody got time for that. 
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Dazzler is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Most Useless Super Powers in Comics
Photo:  Essential Dazzler, Vol. 1/Marvel
Dazzler's ability to convert sound into light beams of various forms and intensity would make her a spectacular and eco friendly alternative to modern fireworks displays, but we don't see those skills coming in handy any day that isn't New Year's Eve or the Fourth of July.
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4
The Hanged Man
The Hanged Man is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Most Useless Super Powers in Comics
Photo:  Astro City: Life in the Big City/DC Comics
The Hanged Man is a ghostly specter that floats over Shadow Hill in the comic Astro City. He can float, grow his body to any size, and he has a mysterious awareness of alternate timelines. If we can think of anything that we DON'T need in the real world, it's a giant ghost floating around and creeping everybody out. 
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