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A Victorian Magazine Asked Spinsters Why They Were Single, And The Answers Were Incredibly Savage

List Rules
Vote up the replies you'll use the next time someone asks why you're single.

A Victorian-era competition likely would have been forgotten to history if not for the work of Dr. Bob Nicholson, who shared his find on Twitter. In 1889, Tit-Bits magazine offered a prize to the spinster who could provide the best answer to the question: Why are you still single? The results proved far too hilariously on point for the magazine to choose just a single winner. Instead, they published their favorites and gave each winner five shillings – the equivalent of about $26 today.

The Victorians are most commonly known for their morbid death and mourning customs,  but the quotes found here prove they were no stranger to comedy. Though Tit-bits never picked a winner, you can, by voting on your favorite responses below. 

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  • Because Being A Wife Is Too Much Work
    1

    Because Being A Wife Is Too Much Work

    15,462 votes

    "I am now only a dairymaid. If married I should be wife, mother, nurse, housekeeper, chambermaid, seamstress, laundress, dairymaid, and scrub generally."

  • Because Being Single Pays Better
    2

    Because Being Single Pays Better

    14,298 votes

    "Because I have other professions open to me in which the hours are shorter, the work more agreeable, and the pay possibly better."

  • Because It's Hard To Find A Good Man In A Sea Of Fools
    3

    Because It's Hard To Find A Good Man In A Sea Of Fools

    14,493 votes

    "For good men are scarce, but fools there are plenty, that's why I am single at seven-and-twenty."

  • Because You Don't Need Another Pet In The House
    4

    Because You Don't Need Another Pet In The House

    17,798 votes

    "Because I do not care to enlarge my menagerie of pets, and I find the animal man less docile than a dog, less affectionate than a cat, and less amusing than a monkey."