No matter what your real job may be, in video games you can be a zombie hunter, a Master Chief, a hacker, a dragon slayer, a career criminal, or anything in between. The economy being what it is, everybody's looking for fulfilling jobs that could lead into life-affirming careers. So when you're playing a game, you may think to yourself that if you were in the position of your favorite video game character, "I could totally do that." But the reality that we all know to be true is no, no you couldn't.
If you're being honest with yourself, you know you cannot lead a galactic team of elite hyper-soldiers into against a trans-dimensional foe. You can't even hack it as a treasure hunter. You certainly couldn't be Batman. These are really hard jobs. None of this is even remotely realistic.
This list runs through all the jobs you're really good at in video games but could never possibly do in the real world. The list also questions why you would even want to do these jobs in the first place. Who wants to be a dragon killer? Dragons are super dangerous and would probably spit hot fire in your face before devouring you whole.So vote for the jobs that sound the best based on video games but would really be the worst if you ever managed to get hired.
A Killer of Actual Dragons (Skyrim)
You see that dragon flying up ahead? You know, that enormous flying lizard that's probably going to come down here and light you on fire before eating you alive? You have to go kill that. And that tiny dot in the picture? That's you.While the moments after killing a dragon are amazing and you feel like you can take on the world, the reality is that you probably won't get there. You will probably be charbroiled and eaten. Hard pass on the dragon killer job. Take up typing, get in data entry. There are a lot of start-ups with great stock options you can get in on the ground floor with.
Professional Monster Hunter (The Witcher)
Sure, getting paid to kill monsters is great, and being granted magical monster killing powers is going to be lovely. No argument there. But there's always a war going on, and in a war, they're going to want to use those magical monster killing powers.What then? Your kids are never going to get to sleep, and you're really not making much money off the deal. Oh! And you're probably going to die horribly. That part is pretty much guaranteed, actually.
Assassin Battling an Oppressive World Order (Assassin's Creed)
Get down from there, you're going to break your neck! Knives, knives pop out of your wrists? How are you not going to cut yourself with that? Don't run across that clothesline, you couldn't possibly stay upright.See that person? Don't trust him. He's a Templar and he's going to kill you. Oh, you're going to kill him first? There are thirty guards between the two of you and all you've got is your ridiculously dangerous wrist-knives and a sword? This is not going to go well. Good luck.
Commander of an Elite Galaxy-Saving Squad (Mass Effect)
Let's face it, the Mass Effect games themselves know how unlikely it is for you to actually save the galaxy from a trans-dimensional threat. The Reapers destroy all sentient life every 50,000 years, and little old you, a human, is going to magically take them all down?Nah. Plus, if you want to go Paragon, you're going to have to show more patience than any human alive has ever shown. Are you really going to not punch that reporter? No, you're going to punch that reporter. That's going to happen because you're not cut out for this.