• Lifestyle

Awesome Video Game Professions You'd Never Do in Real Life

No matter what your real job may be, in video games you can be a zombie hunter, a Master Chief, a hacker, a dragon slayer, a career criminal, or anything in between. The economy being what it is, everybody's looking for fulfilling jobs that could lead into life-affirming careers. So when you're playing a game, you may think to yourself that if you were in the position of your favorite video game character, "I could totally do that." But the reality that we all know to be true is no, no you couldn't. 

If you're being honest with yourself, you know you cannot lead a galactic team of elite hyper-soldiers into against a trans-dimensional foe. You can't even hack it as a treasure hunter. You certainly couldn't be Batman. These are really hard jobs. None of this is even remotely realistic. 

This list runs through all the jobs you're really good at in video games but could never possibly do in the real world. The list also questions why you would even want to do these jobs in the first place. Who wants to be a dragon killer? Dragons are super dangerous and would probably spit hot fire in your face before devouring you whole.

So vote for the jobs that sound the best based on video games but would really be the worst if you ever managed to get hired.
  • 1

    Pokemon Trainer (Pokemon)

    You might be good enough to use the Pokemon when it's time for them to fight. But this job isn't as great as you might think. First off, the TV screen doesn't give you the smell. These are wild animals. You're going to have to clean up after them. 

    Even if you can get past the mess, they're still dangerous creatures. Ever tied to get a wild boar to calm down? Now try to get them to calm down without using bullets. Oh, and that adorable yellow furball? Yeah, that thing's going to electrocute you. Go work at a beagle rescue instead. 
    Agree or disagree?
  • 2

    International Treasure Hunter (Uncharted)

    Sure, it sounds fun to travel the world looking for ancient treasures. You'll get to explore exotic locales, discover priceless historical artifacts, and hopefully just find that buried chest of gold everyone's been talking about. Great job, right?

    Then come the pirates. There's always going to be pirates. And they have guns. And they're going to shoot at you. Even if you had the heart of an archaeologist, and even if you could shoot like Pistol Pete, are you really going to go one-on-twenty with a band of mercenaries and expect to come out of that alive? Didn't think so. Go be an accountant. 
    Agree or disagree?
  • 3

    Dope Gang Boss Who Is Also President (Saints Row IV)

    Listen, this is a dope job. You're an international superstar for being gangster, and you eventually become so beloved that everyone just decides to make you president. You want this job, but really, you won't be able hack it. 

    Why? Well, you've never fired a gun, for starters. You don't even own a single gold chain. You have no contacts in the underworld, and you don't have a crew who'll die for you. You're not terribly presidential, either. Thanks for applying, though.
    Agree or disagree?
  • 4

    Car Thief Pulling off Sweet Helicopter Heists (Grand Theft Auto V)

    You are not going to steal that car. In fact, all that Grand Theft Auto V does to you is make you drive just a little bit faster on the highway, or maybe you take that left turn just a little tighter than normal. Watch out, speed demon, you could get in trouble with that. 

    Or you're just going to end up pulled over. You won't even get to a helicopter. There is no helicopter for you. 
    Agree or disagree?