Weird History The Award For All Time Worst Names To Give Your Kid Goes To The Puritans  

Eric Vega
1.1k votes 188 voters 6.1k views 30 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the Puritan names worse than wearing a scarlet letter.

Puritan settlers in the New World provided crucial foundations for the beginnings of the United States of America, but thankfully Puritan names never quite caught on as readily. Ranging from “Fly-Fornication” to “Humiliation,” names for Puritan children took a strong stance on conservative values, a child's self-esteem be as damned as any sinner's! While easy to brush Puritan children names off simply as a relic of the past, contemporary writings shows even their peers mocked puritans for their ridiculous names. Considering they repressed their own penises, the Puritans probably saw their non-secular names as simply another cross to bear.

About as riveting as a Puritan's sex life, each of the names listed below exist as real, verified first names given by Puritan parents to children who probably welcomed the chance to become witches and displease their parents. In Curiosities of Puritan Nomenclature, a book published in 1888, author Charles W. Bardsley shares his collection of the most bizarre names of the puritan culture. In the text, Bardsley answers a question that not many people have asked: how did Puritans get their names? But a better question might be, with a name like "Increased" or Faint-Not," how did Puritans go out in public?

1
68 28
Fly-Fornication

16 Celebrities Whose Children Committed Suicide 32 Photos Of Nazi Youths That Will Give You Nightmares

2
58 23
If-Christ-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned

3
33 10
Humiliation

4
41 17
Dancell-Dallphebo-Marke-Antony-Dallery-Galleiy-Caesar

5
37 14
Jesus-Christ-Came-Into-The-World-To-Save

6
31 10
Damned

7
35 15
More-Fruit

8
35 16
Abstinence

9
35 16
Hate-Bad

10
28 12
Prudentia

11
25 10
Hate-Evil

12
22 8
Helpless

13
24 10
Fight-The-Good-Fight-Of-Faith

14
28 14
Silence

15
25 13
Joy-In-Sorrow

Shel Silverstein Has Pretty Much Lived The Most Kid-Unfriendly Life Imaginable Favorite TV Moms of All Time

16
26 14
Increased

17
24 13
Job-Rackt-Out-Of-The-Ashes

18
20 10
Fear-God

19
21 12
Abuse-Not

20
19 11
Thanks

21
19 11
Faint-Not

22
19 13
Obey

23
20 15
No-Merit

24
21 16
Free-Gift

25
15 10
Give-Thanks

26
15 12
Sin-Deny

27
13 13
Good-Work

28
12 12
Godly

29
11 11
Magnify

30
10 13
Praise-God