The Church of Satan was founded in 1966, but people have been summoning the devil and other demons since the dawn of time. Rumors of blues musician Robert Johnson selling his soul to the devil for a recording contract date back to the early 1900s, and countless others have curiously fallen ass-backwards into fame and fortune, leaving the rest of us wondering what sort of deal with the devil they had to make.
Google an interest of yours followed by the words "child prodigy" and I guarantee you your next search will be "how to sell your soul to the devil." Don't be so dramatic! Satan has way more important things to do than worry about your pathetic guitar skills. But fret not, there are plenty of other demons out there who are willing to help!
Quit practicing and start praying! Here's our step-by-step guide to summoning demons to help you get rich quick!
Your first step should be deciding which demon you'd like to summon. Not all demons were created equally; some are pleasant and respectful, while others may be unlikely to help or may even be hostile toward you. In addition to different temperaments, different demons specialize in different areas.
Have some questions you need answered? Try summoning Astaroth or Asmodeus. Going for a promotion at work? Hit up Belial. Need some advice on your court case? Better call Eligor. If you're not sure which demon to summon, Goetic demons are said to be pretty human-friendly.
According to Joy of Satan Ministries: "It is important to have a specific purpose; know exactly why you are summoning a particular demon." They also suggest that you always "treat the demons with honesty and respect. Never command, demand or try to exploit them in any way."
You should take time to carefully prepare your request before summoning the appropriate demon to help you achieve your goal.
When asking for the assistance of a demon, it's proper form to present an offering in return. While the offering itself can vary based on the demon or the request, it usually involves "publicity for the demon, working against the enemy, or working to advance Satanism," according to Joy of Satan Ministries. No matter the offer, it should be agreed upon by both you and the demon.
It is ill-advised to present an offer you know you cannot follow through with. "The Elder Gods value one’s word, honesty, integrity and one’s honor as the utmost importance," writes Joy of Satan Ministries.
After determining the demon you'd like to contact, you need to choose an appropriate contact method. Depending on your experience summoning demons, and your familiarity with the actual demon you're summoning, you may be able to physically see and hear the demon or notice tangible evidence that the demon is present.
For those who are less familiar with summoning, you simply invoke the energy of the demon, at which point you are "engulfed in a powerful, electrifying aura," according to Joy of Satan Ministries, or just speak to the demon telepathically. One of the most common methods of summoning a demon is to use a "scrying mirror," which allows you to communicate with demons.