13 Horror Villains You Could Totally Beat Up
Photo: Child's Play 2 / Universal Pictures

13 Horror Villains You Could Totally Beat Up

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Vote up the villains you could definitely take down mano y mano.

Every now and then, a horror film comes out that actually scares you. The writing is brilliant, the villain is terrifying, and you have to sleep facing the door with the lights on for the next few weeks. But most of the time, horror films are just there to keep you amused for a couple of hours. 

Given that fact, a lot of horror movie villains are not actually that scary. We decided to survey the weakest ones. Which cinematic monster could you totally beat up in a hand-to-hand fight? Let's get down to the facts: their strengths, their weaknesses, and their most humiliating defeats. 

  • Chucky From 'Child's Play' 
    Photo: Bride of Chucky / Universal Pictures

    Chucky, AKA Charles Lee Ray, is a spirit stuck in a doll - a common plot device in horror films. He’s a little freaky, he's overly libidinous, and he has a tendency to become obsessed with his owner. Although he’s got a lot of notches on his belt, he’s still just a doll, so you can throw him around pretty easily. And unlike some other possessed dolls, Chucky is still a human soul, and therefore lacks supernatural powers. Burn the doll, or throw it in a locked trashcan, and you’re all set. Unless someone resurrects him again.

    Strength: Small and hard to hit

    Weakness: Small and easy to pick up and throw

    Biggest Defeat: Covered in molten plastic at the Play Pals toy factory

    923 votes
  • Minnie Castevet From 'Rosemary's Baby'
    Photo: Paramount

    Minnie Castevet from Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby is a devil-worshiping old woman who, with the help of all the tenants of the Bramford apartments and Rosemary’s husband, arrange for Rosemary to be supernaturally impregnated. In retrospect, if she weren't manipulated and drugged, Rosemary could have easily just knocked the frail Minnie down and run away.

    Strength: Allied with the Prince of Darkness and appears to be above suspicion

    Weakness: She is literally a little old lady

    Biggest Defeat: She is undefeated

    • Played By: Ruth Gordon
    608 votes
  • Dr. Heiter From 'The Human Centipede' 
    Photo: The Human Centipede (First Sequence) / Bounty Films

    Dr. Josef Heiter, a retired surgeon, was famous for separating conjoined twins, eventually leading to his obsession with reversing the process. Heiter’s intellect is formidable: he can actually carry out his plan and assemble his pet centipede from three human bodies. However, his ego leads him to make small mistakes. He fails to reckon with the fact that his human captives can't be domesticated like his other pets. In hand-to-hand combat, Dr. Heiter would be easy to beat as long as you stay out of his basement and don't drink his water.

    Strength: Vast intellect and a seemingly endless supply of sedatives

    Weakness: Giant ego

    Biggest Defeat: Failing to account for his captives' intelligence

    • Played By: Dieter Laser
    563 votes
  • One of the most affectionate Stephen King villains, Annie Wilkes is a nurse who loves to read romance novels and take care of sick people. Beneath the surface, she’s actually a serial killer with mental issues and a fondness for tormenting her patients. Paul Sheldon provides a master class in taking her down with psychological warfare - just threaten to burn a few pages of an unpublished Misery Chastain novel. For most folks, it should be even easier, as most folks don't have two broken legs.

    Strength: Lots of medical knowledge, and not squeamish

    Weakness: Unquenchable desire to know every fictional plot twist in Misery Chastain's life

    Biggest Defeat: Outwitted and overpowered by a hobbled novelist

    • Played By: Kathy Bates
    508 votes
  • Jigsaw From 'Saw'
    Photo: Saw II / Lionsgate

    The Saw franchise revolves around John Kramer, who, rather than offing his targets directly, places them in traps where they must successfully win a game or pass a test to survive. Kramer's villainous activities are characterized by his abiding calm and his seemingly genuine desire to rehabilitate “bad” people by making them see the value in life. If you allow yourself to be drawn into his web of traps, you may be in trouble. But if you bump into Kramer at the supermarket checkout counter, you could take him easily.

    Strength: A devious mind and an ability to remain calm

    Weakness: Is already terminally ill

    Biggest Defeat: Is taken out with - you guessed it - a saw

    • Played By: Tobin Bell
    559 votes
  • If someone stood you next to Norman Bates from the horror classic Psycho, you wouldn’t even notice you were standing next to a villain. Though he has a tendency to stare in a creepy way, he’s really just a lonely boy with mommy issues. When he snaps and his alter ego “Mother” takes over, he finally has the urge to kill - but he’s still a skinny guy fighting with emotions rather than skill. The only edge he has is his willingness to sneak up behind unsuspecting people. Your best bet is to take him down easily. Don’t give “Mother” a chance to come out, and maybe woo him over dinner.

    Strength: Surprise

    Weakness: Weighs 98 pounds soaking wet

    Biggest Defeat: Winding up in a psych ward

    • Played By: Anthony Perkins
    565 votes