• Graveyard Shift

13 Horror Villains You Could Totally Beat Up

List RulesVote up the villains you could definitely take down mano y mano.

Every now and then, a horror film comes out that actually scares you. The writing is brilliant, the villain is terrifying, and you have to sleep facing the door with the lights on for the next few weeks. But most of the time, horror films are just there to keep you amused for a couple of hours. 

Given that fact, a lot of horror movie villains are not actually that scary. We decided to survey the weakest ones. Which cinematic monster could you totally beat up in a hand-to-hand fight? Let's get down to the facts: their strengths, their weaknesses, and their most humiliating defeats. 

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  • Photo: Bride of Chucky / Universal Pictures

    Chucky, AKA Charles Lee Ray, is a spirit stuck in a doll - a common plot device in horror films. He’s a little freaky, he's overly libidinous, and he has a tendency to become obsessed with his owner. Although he’s got a lot of notches on his belt, he’s still just a doll, so you can throw him around pretty easily. And unlike some other possessed dolls, Chucky is still a human soul, and therefore lacks supernatural powers. Burn the doll, or throw it in a locked trashcan, and you’re all set. Unless someone resurrects him again.

    Strength: Small and hard to hit

    Weakness: Small and easy to pick up and throw

    Biggest Defeat: Covered in molten plastic at the Play Pals toy factory

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    • Photo: Paramount

      Minnie Castevet from Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby is a devil-worshiping old woman who, with the help of all the tenants of the Bramford apartments and Rosemary’s husband, arrange for Rosemary to be supernaturally impregnated. In retrospect, if she weren't manipulated and drugged, Rosemary could have easily just knocked the frail Minnie down and run away.

      Strength: Allied with the Prince of Darkness and appears to be above suspicion

      Weakness: She is literally a little old lady

      Biggest Defeat: She is undefeated

      • Played By: Ruth Gordon
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    • Photo: The Human Centipede (First Sequence) / Bounty Films

      Dr. Josef Heiter, a retired surgeon, was famous for separating conjoined twins, eventually leading to his obsession with reversing the process. Heiter’s intellect is formidable: he can actually carry out his plan and assemble his pet centipede from three human bodies. However, his ego leads him to make small mistakes. He fails to reckon with the fact that his human captives can't be domesticated like his other pets. In hand-to-hand combat, Dr. Heiter would be easy to beat as long as you stay out of his basement and don't drink his water.

      Strength: Vast intellect and a seemingly endless supply of sedatives

      Weakness: Giant ego

      Biggest Defeat: Failing to account for his captives' intelligence

      • Played By: Dieter Laser
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    • Photo: Saw II / Lionsgate

      The Saw franchise revolves around John Kramer, who, rather than offing his targets directly, places them in traps where they must successfully win a game or pass a test to survive. Kramer's villainous activities are characterized by his abiding calm and his seemingly genuine desire to rehabilitate “bad” people by making them see the value in life. If you allow yourself to be drawn into his web of traps, you may be in trouble. But if you bump into Kramer at the supermarket checkout counter, you could take him easily.

      Strength: A devious mind and an ability to remain calm

      Weakness: Is already terminally ill

      Biggest Defeat: Is taken out with - you guessed it - a saw

      • Played By: Tobin Bell
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