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15 Wedding Workers Reveal Their Biggest Red Flags With Couples And Why The Marriage Didn't Last

January 11, 2021 3.3k votes 497 voters 38.6k views13 items

List RulesVote up if it's a red flag for the marriage!

We all hope for marriages to start off on a good note, but what happens when they don't? No one has more experience with weddings than the planners, photographers, etc. that work them. Redditor u/HHS2019 asked, "Marriage/engagement photographers/videographers of Reddit, have you developed a sixth sense for which marriages will flourish and which will not? What are the... red flags?" and the internet delivered with their responses. Vote up the biggest red flags!

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  • 1

    When The Bride Or Groom Is Super Quiet

    From Redditor u/Compulsive-Gremlin:

    Ex wedding photographer.

    Typically I saw red flags when the bride or groom is super quiet. I mean silent and just watching.

    One instance was a groom who barely said 10 words to anyone during the ceremony or reception afterwards. The bride and her mother were extremely loud and excited the entire time. The bride needed everything to be “perfect.” I dropped off the photo bundle with them two weeks later, and he was still quiet. She, however, complained about all of the pictures because the groom wasn’t “smiling enough.” She wanted a discount because I couldn’t make him look happy enough.

    They got divorced about a year later. I know because I did his engagement photos with his new fiancee about four years after his first wedding. His engagement photos showed him much happier.

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    Red flag?
  • 2

    Videographer - Meltdowns In Paradise

    From Redditor u/Aeonasphere:

    Wedding videographer here.

    Had a couple fly us out to Iceland for their engagement shoot. Now the first couple of days were fine and everything looked okay, but in Iceland, some lodging options aren’t very luxurious. The groom chose to book what was essentially a tiny bunkhouse (the ones meant for those summer camps), and the bride lost it and complained the whole night.

    Next morning things are pretty tense and our team continues the shoot as planned even though it is incredibly awkward. Most of our plans fall through because they start arguing.

    In front of a beautiful, solitary glacier.

    For two hours.

    Our team can hear them yelling at each other half a mile away because there is literally no one else around for miles.

    We finish up whatever we could of the last day of the shoot and awkwardly said our goodbyes. Later on I learn that they broke up a month before the wedding.

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  • 3

    When The Groom Winks At You

    From Redditor u/shinyquartersquirrel:

    Red flag: the groom winking at both my assistant and [me] during the ceremony. He was not winking in the sense that he might have been tearing up or had something in his eye... [T]here was a part in the ceremony where the couple sat down, and he would lean his head back in his chair, look past his soon-to-be wife, and wink at me or look over his left shoulder and wink at my assistant. It was bizarre.

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  • 4

    When The Mom Tries To Control The Wedding

    From Redditor u/savageexplosive:

    Ex wedding photographer here. There were only a couple situations where I had doubts about the couple's future and one where I was certain:

    I declined shooting a wedding when the person who was going to hire me was the groom's mom. When I asked her to arrange a meeting with the couple, she said... they didn't want a wedding (meaning they wanted to elope), and it was her initiative to celebrate it. I tried to play "I want to hear bride's ideas" card, but she told me the bride has no ideas, she obeys the groom, and the groom obeys mom. So I'll only talk to the mom. So I declined. I hope the girl is fine - no one deserves a controlling MIL.

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    Red flag?