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Funny Wedding Jokes

List RulesAny joke pertaining to weddings or married life

List of Wedding Jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Wedding Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to notice life's little absurdities can make even bad days seem a bit cheerier. Some of these jokes about Wedding Jokes are designed with that in mind, from amusing little witticisms to obscure references to puns. Others take a more satirical approach to the subject of Wedding Jokes, mining hypocrisy and criticism for laughs.

The jokes on this page take many forms and are written in different formats. Some have a very traditional set-up/punchline style, with the set-up in bold and the punchline written smaller in the space below. Others are more like mini-stories or scenarios, in which case they've simply been broken up in a way that's convenient and easy to read. Go through them all and vote for your favorites!
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    185 VOTES

    At the party

    A nagging old woman at a party walked up to a belligerent old man and told him, "If you were my husband I would poison your drink!" To which he replied, "If you were my wife, I would drink it!"
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  • Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
    2
    160 VOTES

    Lucky Escape?

    A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, 'No, I was thinking about the time before our nuptials. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!'
    133
    27
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  • Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
    3
    91 VOTES

    Before and After

    Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
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  • Photo: flickr / CC0
    4
    145 VOTES

    At the wedding

    A little girl at a wedding asked, "Mommy, why do brides always wear white?" The mom replied, "Because they're happy, dear." Halfway through the wedding the girl whispered, "Mommy, if brides wear white because they're happy, then why do men wear black?"
    116
    29
    Is this funny?