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Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl

Updated July 23, 2019 7.5k votes 1.1k voters 12.6k views25 items

List RulesVote up the weed jokes that have you laughing whether you're high on the green or life.

Jokes are a great way to get high on life. Weed is a great way to get high on... well, weed. When the two come together, you have a surefire way to have a great time with friends. Or if you're smoking a bowl by yourself, you can chuckle to your heart's content with these weed jokes. These puns and bits are ready to be harvested, so read them to your stoner friends to show them just how funny you are. 

A lot of comedians rely on cannabis during their stand-up sets. However, even if you are stone-cold sober, you can still find the humor in these jokes about being stoned. After all, it's a pretty humorous activity. You smoke a plant, and then you want to watch The Wizard of Oz while eating Spicy Nacho Doritos for hours on end. It's a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon. 

This list has gathered together plenty of funny weed jokes. You can bookmark this page if you are certain you will want to entertain your stoner friends with these hilarious bits. Make sure to vote for the ones that made you laugh the hardest. If you're already stoned, then these jokes will likely be 10 times funnier!

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  • 1
    What do you get when you eat m is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    320
    76

    What do you get when you eat marijuana?

    A pot belly.

  • 2
    Why is a roach clip called a r is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    288
    65

    Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?

    Because "pot holder" was already taken.

  • 3
    What do you call a potato that is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    301
    73

    What do you call a potato that smokes weed?

    A baked potato.

  • 4
    What do you call a stoner drop is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    273
    61

    What do you call a stoner dropping weed on the floor?

    Drug abuse

  • 5
    If two stoners are in the back is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    278
    64

    If two stoners are in the backseat, then who's driving?

    The cop.

  • 6
    What's the difference between  is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    404
    121

    What's the difference between stoners and politicians?

    Politicians don't inhale. They just suck.

  • 7
    Why don't stoners get into arg is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    269
    61

    Why don't stoners get into arguments?

    Because they take the high road.

  • 8
    Did you hear about the kid who is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    254
    56

    Did you hear about the kid who overdosed on weed?

    Neither did I.

  • 9
    How do you know you're a true  is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    259
    58

    How do you know you're a true stoner?

    When you wash your bong more often than your dishes!

  • 10
    What do you call a pothead wit is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    249
    55

    What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?

    Double jointed.

  • 11
    What kind of car does a stoner is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    390
    127

    What kind of car does a stoner drive?

    A Blazer!

  • 12
    What does weed and the Carolin is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    200
    37

    What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?

    They both get smoked in bowls.

  • 13
    What did the paper say to the  is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    196
    37

    What did the paper say to the weed?

    Let's roll!

  • 14
    What do you call someone who s is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    190
    39

    What do you call someone who says they remember Woodstock?

    A liar

  • 15
    How many potheads does it take is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    188
    46

    How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Screw it, just use a lighter.

  • 16
    What is April 21st known as? is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    184
    47

    What is April 21st known as?

    National Drug Test Day

  • 17
    "You know, you can go to jail  is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    181
    48

    "You know, you can go to jail for weed."

    "Wait, they have weed in jail?!"

  • 18
    What's the difference between  is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    400
    219

    What's the difference between a drunk driver and stoned driver at a stop sign?

    The drunk driver runs it. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green.

  • 19
    What do you call a high Pikach is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    172
    68

    What do you call a high Pikachu?

    A Tokemon!

  • 20
    How do sharks get high? is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    127
    57

    How do sharks get high?

    With reefer!

  • 21
    What did the stoner say before is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    124
    58

    What did the stoner say before the cops broke up the party?

    Let's blow this joint!

  • 22
    What do you call Harrison Ford is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    124
    60

    What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

    Han So-High

  • 23
    Why did the stoner put Cheerio is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    117
    87

    Why did the stoner put Cheerios in the ground?

    He thought they were bagel seeds.

  • 24
    Did you hear about the stoners is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    93
    79

    Did you hear about the stoners who planned on robbing a medicinal marijuana shop?

    First, they had to case the joint.

  • 25
    What do stoners put on spaghet is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list Funny Weed Jokes To Pack In Your Brain Bowl
    90
    80

    What do stoners put on spaghetti?

    Legalized marinara!

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